Loki: Agent of Asgard ( a group of random writings)

I Lost Myself

      "Well, this isn't good." Loki chuckled sarcastically as he found himself trapped up against a wall with a sword at his throat. A mortal woman against a god that survived getting his head chopped off. She was greatly out powered. After a week or so of looking for Loki, Verity had finally found him. She was ready to bring the old Loki back. Even if that meant dying for the sake of stopping this evil Loki.

      "I'm sorry." Verity said with tears in her eyes. "But you're losing yourself, Loki." Verity pulled the sword away from his throat and then stabbed him in the chest. The sound of metal slicing through flesh and bone echoed through the air. Loki's eyes went wide and sparks started to fly from his chest. Loki started to yell somethings she couldn't understand and then he slumped to the ground. Verity dropped to her knees and hugged him. He was overwhelmingly heavy she could barely lift him.

     "Verity." Loki said. "Thank you." Loki used what little strength he had to hold on to Verity. "What am I doing?" He whispered. "Verity, what am I doing?" His eyes dulled a bit and his breathing became raspy.

    "Loki, it's going to be ok." Verity said. "It's going to be okay." Loki's hand was moving then she felt a sharp pain in the back of her ribs. She screamed as the pain cut through her. Loki removed his dagger from her back and let it drop.

    "No, it isn't." Loki gravely said. Verity's body went slack and slumped up against him. "I don't know what I'm doing. But I'm not going to lie to you about this. It's not going to be okay. Verity, did you really think we could ever be friends. A god and a mortal it would never work out. It didn't even last between me and Leah." Verity's breathing was slowing down but she could tell one thing.

   He was lying.

   "Loki, you liar." Verity rasped out seeing through his lies before, she went completely limp and blacked out.

     What was he lying about? Loki was confused. Every thing he said was true. "Verity, Verity!" He yelled shaking her. "Verity, what was I lying about?" Loki frantically screamed her name. "I don't even know what I was lying about!" He looked around and picked her up. Loki carried her around in his arms. He opened a portal and got back to his apartment. Loki set her down on the couch and realized he still had Gram embedded in his chest. He pulled Gram out and let it clatter to the ground. Loki already felt remorseful and Gram really brought him back down to earth. "Verity, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I never should have let you get sucked into this mess. This is all my fault. And now you're hurt by my hand." Loki sat down with his face in his hands shaking his head. "I don't know what's going on. I don't know, I have no clue why I'm doing this. Just please, Verity, don't die on me. Please, forgive me."
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     "Loki?" Verity asked when she woke up a few hours later. Loki was asleep his head back against the couch. Verity took the time to really look at him. He looked a bit older, thiner, manly, and tired. He had several scratches on his face. His hair was ruffled and his eyes had dark bags under them. He held the large gold, horned helmet in his lap. Was this really her Loki? What had happened to him? She felt a large pain in her back. She winced as she forced herself up a tad. She started to run her fingers through Loki's hair. When she was facing off against him he had been wearing what looked like King Loki's helmet instead of his own. She could see his hair now that he took it off. His black hair was dirty she could feel it, greasy and clumped together. It had grown surprisingly long but still short.

   Verity didn't even get a quarter way through his hair when Loki's hand suddenly snapped up and grabbed her arm. Verity gasped as she felt his bone crushing strength. But, he wasn't using all of it. Loki's green eyes opened and he left go. Verity noticed he was a bit slow now. This should have happened immediately or before she even got her fingers in his hair. Loki adjusted himself regaining his composure from before. His back straightened and he pulled his shoulders back regaining the regal air he usually had to him. Verity took her hand away and pulled her entire body back from him. This Loki looked almost feral compared to the Loki she knew before. They stared at each other for a few moments. Loki made some kind of movement like he was going to get close to her but, he stopped and pulled back not wanting to scare her.

   "Loki." Verity whispered timidly almost sounding scared of him. Before this encounter she had several dreams about it. None of those ended well. Either with him going completely mad or her getting killed, sometimes both. Loki shifted and leaned forward supporting himself with his elbows on his thighs. He avoided eye contact and still managed to look intimidating to her. "What happened to you?"

   "I chose the wrong path." Loki said. "I lost myself, lost my mind a bit. Probably killed some people or, a lot, maybe. I can't seem to remember. Could have chosen to create my own story, tell a new one, you know." He huffed like a small laugh. "Then, you showed up, stabbed me with my own sword. The one that damn 'King Loki' had forged. Then, I don't know what happened, I collapsed in your arms confessed every truth for every lie I had told you. I'm not even sure if it was in a language you could understand. But, something kinda snapped in my mind and at last moment I took control. Going from killing you to a non fatal stab between the ribs. You're lower back ribs in fact. If it hurt anything it would be your diaphragm." Loki's eyes looked sad and he started to fidget. The facade he had put up slowly began to crumble. "I felt regret and confused because the last thing you said before you passed out was:'Loki, you liar.'" His voice cracked. "I don't know what I had lied about! Everything I said to you, I thought it was true." Loki's tears silently Dripped down his cheeks. He reassumed his composure and wiped his eyes. "I'm sorry. I-I just, can't." He forced himself up and sat the helmet down on the table. He walked into the kitchen and let his head fall into his hands. He shook his head and mumbled something to himself. "Jeg tapte. Jeg tapte. Unnskyld. så, så lei meg.(I lost. I lost. I'm sorry. So, so sorry.)"

     "Loki," Verity said. She tried forcing herself up and staggered over to Loki. She had never seen him like this. He was completely broken now. "Loki, it's alright now. It's alright. You're going to be okay."

      "du ikke vet det! men hva med deg! hva om jeg drepe deg!(You don't know that! But what about you! What if I killed you!)" Loki yelled Verity stepped back shocked at the sudden outburst. He was visibly upset shuddering and crying. Was he even aware what he was yelling or how he was yelling it? She didn't understand a word he said. Loki saw the fear and pain in her eyes, confusion as well. "hvorfor ser du på meg sånn?" (Why are you looking at me like that?) He yelled. He heard what he was saying. Oh. He thought as it clicked he wasn't speaking her language. For some odd reason he registered that she understood French. Reverting back to the language of kid Loki's childhood he spoke. "Verity, je suis désolé, je ne voulais pas vous effrayer."(Verity, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell.) Verity looked at him a bit less confused as she understood 'I'm sorry' and her name. She thought back to her high school French class and fumbled with her words.

    "Loki, ne vous vous entendez? Parle anglais. (Loki, do you hear yourself? Speak English.)" She totally botched her words barely remembering. Loki stared at her blankly trying to comprehend her botched pronunciation. He gulped. "English, Loki." Loki understood now. Sometimes all speak wasn't as good to have as people thought. It would be like waking up screaming about how you don't speak French in English when you live in Germany. Including in situations like these where he sometimes fell into speaking Norwegian under emotional and physical distress. Cursing wasn't really his style and did it in less intense situations.

    "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you." Loki finally spoke her language. Verity sighed and walked over to him. She placed a hand on his back. Loki seemed to calm down a bit. He closed his eyes and his breathing became steady. He gulped again and turned around to hug her. This was embarrassing for him. A god to have fallen so low and broken down in front of a mortal. "I don't want to be like this. I don't want to be the god of lies and villainy anymore. I'm sick and tired of losing time and time again. Verity, I don't want to loose you." He put his hands on her shoulders. "You're my best friend. I need someone like you. Someone who's seen me at my worst and will see through my lies."

   "Loki," Verity said. "I'm right here. I won't go anywhere anytime soon if you really need me."