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the signs as michael clifford tweets:
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Aries: @dylanobrien be my friend
Taurus: All I want is a emoji penis god damnit
Gemini: I remember when I saw my first pair of boobs
Cancer: Hello I am mr noodle arms
Leo: Housekeeping just came in and I'm in my pikachu onsie. oh god
Virgo: i wish "bonerific" was a word in the dictionary
Libra: here's a cup of calm the fuck down
Scorpio: IF I EXERCISE WHY AM I STILL FAT
Sagittarius: @Luke5SOS stop being so happy
Capricorn: I know what a one shot is
Aquarius: 'Want anything from Starbucks?' '3 more hours of sleep'
Pisces: Someone cuddle me
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