Miss.Mills...

First day

Emma POV:

I was woken up by an alarm going off. Great fucking FANTASTIC. Today is the first day of school. I turn off my alarm and begin to get ready. I fill my bag with books and oh my its so so so heavy. Tying my hair up and placing on my glasses i head out my apartment at to my bug. I live alone and have all my life. I grew up in the foster system until the let me out at 17. Im 18 now. I get my yellow bug and head to school. StoryBrook High. Hell basically for me. You just like ive got no family i have no friends, well i have Ruby but she is older and works in Granny's Dinner i see her a lot but she isnt there at school. Ive been bullied for my whole life too even before i moved here. It was usually because of my all round 'nerdy' look or the fact im a loner or my favourite the orphan/gay jokes oh yeah, im gay by the way. I got used to hate and abuse at a young age but one thing that always hepled was writing. Well really just literature in general. I LOVE books they are a great escape from reality and i used to hide out in the library a lot and it wasn't until early teens did i develop the love of writing whether poems or just random creative writing i love it all! And that lesson is the one i most look forward to and according to my schedule (i got from online school website) i have ....Miss.Mills? Mmmh i heard she was a wealthy bitch but then again im not like others i enjoy doing work so maybe she isnt that bad??

-----LE TIME SKIP-----

Ahhh first period is... maths? Not my favourite subject but im not terrible. The lesson goes by in a breeze and no one seems to notice me particularly which to be honest is a good thing. The next couple of periods go past the same i just got my head down and did the work provided well that was until my last lesson. Creative Writing. I felt my heartbeat pick up i mean what if she is a total bitch and it ruins writing for me forever?! Disregarding the fear i walk into class smiling. The smile drops when i see a seating plan on the board oh greaaattt. Oh of course im sat upfront! oh by myself as well FAN-TAS-TIC. Then again this is good because i dont have to deal with anyones shit and can easily ask for help. I take my seat and get out my note pad and when i look in a raven haired female walks in and OH MY GOD IS THAT MISS.MILLS?! She is gorgeous!! She had a tight black skirt on and a button up t-shirt which showed off little cleavage! Oh my...how am i gonna survive. As she walks in she caught me staring to which i instantly blush and she just smiles softly and winks at me. OH MY GEEZ MY HEART!!!! she begins speaking and then i really do begin to freak because her voice is so..so SEXY!!

"Good morning class, As you know i am Miss.Mills...-"

She carried on talking but i kind of zoned out and began to daydream of her. I was interrupted when-

"Miss...Ah Swan, would you like to tell the class what you are daydreaming about?" She says in a low angry tone. I flush a crimson colour as i felt yours and everyone elses gaze on me i simply shake my head not able to form a response. You were about to speak when a voice in the back shouted.

"She's probably having some gay fantasy about you miss!, the ugly little dyke" Everyone began to laugh except Miss.Mills and i blush even more ,my ears become hot and tears sting my eyes. He spoke as if i wasn't there. You shouted for everyone to shut up but i still feel terrible. I am usually used to worse but the fact i was in fact in a gay fantasy made me feel disgusted with myself ,ive never been ok with myself and comments like this dont help. I knew what i had to do to get rid of this feeling... I raise my hand and ask to go to the bathroom and after what just happened i guess you assumed i wanted some space and grant me permission. I grab my back pack and head to the toilets. Once inside i made sure to lock the door and pull a small black boz out of my bag. Opening the box i begin to shake and silently tears stream down my face. Im so pathetic i cant even keep it together at school! Why am i never good enough?! i havent done anything. I pull out the small piece of metal and place the box on the side. Pulling up my left arm jumper sleeve i take in all my fainted scars and recent scars. More tears stream down my face ad i remember each and every time ive cut. I do it for release and it just makes me feel better...well for the moment when its done i feel pathetic but anything for that slight bliss. I bring the blade to my skin, push down and slide it against my skin. i do this around 6 times until my arm is covered in blood. Gently i put the blade back and clean the mess i look at my hone. 10mins until end of class. I cant decide whether to go back because theres a chance that student will wait for me but what if i just run now. However i would NOT like to feel the wrath of Miss.Mills so i head back to class after cleaning up. When i walk in your eyes are instantly on me as if asking if im ok i slightly nod at you and just wait for class to end. Miss stands just before the bell and says
"Dont forget homework next lesson"

Homework? WHAT HOMEWORK. This is what i get for leaving!

"Miss.Swan could you stay behind so i can explain the homework since you did leave for a good 30 minutes" she says in a slightly agitated tone. I just nod and wait for you to shut the door. As you walk to your desk i feel your eyes boring into me why im not sure.

"Are you okay miss.S-" i cut you off

"I thought we were here about homework miss..." i say pleadingly obviously hoping you avoid the subject and you catch onto that i dont wanna talk so you explain the homework.

"You should write a creative writing piece based on a moment in your life that brought you pain...Also since you missed most of the lesson i will ask you to write about your self as extra so i get to know you better, you understand?"

"Yes Miss." i rely and bend to get my bag. As i do i feel a pain in my left arm and realise the wound has opened. I feel tears in my eyes knowing you will seen my arm. I shove everything into my bag as quick as i can and begin to leave when i hear you gasp...You've seen my demons. I look at you petrified and you look back at me with pity and sorrow and also something i cant quite identify.

"OH Emma honey your arm! Let me see-" you reach out to grab my arm but i flinch away and back away from you. You cant see this, you cant see my sorrow ,you cant know im a freak but you have already caught onto what ive done. I begin hyperventilating and my chest tightens. NO NNO NO NOT NOW. I hold my chest in pain and you rush towards me but i turn unlock the door and run totally forgetting about my bag. I quickly walk down the hallway ,scared to run in case i cant catch my breathe, and i hear your rushed clicking heels behind me.

"Emma! EMMA SWAN!!" You shout after me but i carry on running until i reach my bug i lock all the doors and start the engine i see you basically sprinting towards me in your black stylish heels! I panic even more and once the car starts i leave.I hold onto the steering wheel so tight my knuckles go white. I hear you shouting me as i leave the car park and i look in my mirror to see you stood where i was parked. I cant go back! But i left my bag!! And you my teacher!!!! What am i going to do?? I get home and i am in no mood to do anything so i just simply lock my door and sleep forgetting about meals and homework i go to my bed and fall into a dreamless sleep knowing im going to have to face Miss.Mills tomorrow...

\Authors Note/

So this is gonna be a new fic im doing. I will try and update as much as i can and also come up with different ideas for the fic! Let me know how i did and if it should be carried on!! :) I know it might get quite dark also some of this is based off my experience with self harm and self hate so yeah... HOPE YOU ENJOYED! VIVA LA SWANQUEEN!!

P.S. The chapters will probably get smaller but as it is the intro i thought id do it slightly longer!

-Evil Smith x