I'm Sorry to Those I've Hurt

Having a Nightmare or a Dream

I love all my friends. Without a doubt. Now, some people think I'm their friends, and that their my friends, but they are wrong. It's not that I don't like them, it's just that I don't think we make good friends. But that is okay. Again, John does not know that I am like a guardian for him. But it is also okay. If he knows one day, I'll either have everything lifted off my shoulder, or a boulder on my back. I want him to know, yes, but he could see it as an obsessed girl watching his every move. Which is not at all what I intend, but it's only so long until he finds out. Whether one of my friends tell him, positive or negative, and then I have to deal with it.

Last night I had a dream that I was in class, John was in Japan on a trip for a month. It was a week in, and I hear his friends talking about him in the hospital. I started freaking out. I told my teacher I needed a bathroom break. I went to the bathroom, and called John. I said this exactly," John, I'm breaking the rules, yes, but I need to know if your okay. Everyone is saying your in the hospital, and I want you to know that I'm scared for you. I'm scared that if you leave.. I won't ever see you again.. and.." I started breaking out in tears, and then I hear a raspy voice from the other end. "Fiona, I didn't know you were so worried about me that you would break our protocol of silence. I love that. Don't worry, I won't tell the cousolor about it. In fact, I'll convince my mom to talk with her and get us back to talking. In fact, I still have the stuffed animal. I named it after you for this trip so I wouldn't forget you. See you in two weeks, okay?" And that's where the dream ends. It's  very rare for someone to remember their dreams, or nightmares, but people usually only remember bits and pieces. I'm one of the people who sometimes remembers what happens, but I have a few dreams I can remember flawlessly, like it was real. I woke up thinking John would be in Japan without me, and we would talk again, but alas it was just a dream.