Choice

The Call of Food

SCARLET'S P.O.V: 

Out of all the works of the world, all he could think of was about food. 

He expected me to distract myself by cooking. Like seriously, I could destroy myself by cooking not distract. For almost thirty minutes after he bombed me with a new idea of cooking for him and left, I sat befuddled on the couch, thinking if I would be able to cook or not. And if I even tried, I would have to go downstairs and see them. No way! 

I was shaking my head and my eyes were closed, my mind was saying 'No' but there was a feeling that maybe, like literally, what if it turned out good and what if I was able to ignore his parents without hurting myself again or without reminding myself about what they did. John, thankfully wouldn't be home but she, the backstabber friend of my mum would be there. I was breathing heavily, the breakfast dish in front of me that Caleb asked me to finish was asking me to eat its food but suddenly, my urge for heavy breakfast went away. 

I just stuffed my mouth with all that stuff and filled my tummy with lots of juice, nervousness still didn't go away, juice could help but it did not. I started strolling from one corner of my room to another corner, thinking that if I should have left my room and got downstairs or not. But there was a war between my mind and heart.

For Caleb, I wanted to cook.

Was that weird?

No matter if I knew how to or not. For myself, I did not want to cook because I knew I would have to see Katerina there, and I would have to do efforts for a man who was my so called husband. 

Logically, I should have gone with my mind, who forced me to think about myself and stay in room and deal with my pain but don't go and make any efforts for any man. But emotionally, I should have gone with my heart, because Caleb was doing something. And something is better than nothing. He did not know how a marriage works, how should he console his wife when she is going through a tough phase but still, he thought for me. He thought that by giving me works to do, he could protect me from never ending pain caused by the revelations that I just heard and experienced.

He thought about me, he made an effort for me. And I should have repaid him by making an effort for him, by accepting his idea, by respecting his choice. Though, we were not on the level of our marriage in which we had to care about each others emotions or respect or anything but still, he did. Even though, he angered me as well but when I needed someone to hold me, to hug me, to whisper those caring words to me, to stop myself from drowning in my own tears, he was there. 

So, after a long debate with my own soul, I was thinking that I would cook for him, and I would accept his idea of distracting myself with works. 

It was almost afternoon, there was so much time left till it was 6:00PM, but considering how much talented I was in cooking, I thought about starting that sooner. I grabbed my phone, used Miss Google to find out a good recipe of something. While searching about which dish could be easy and tasty at the same time, my fingers stopped scrolling and I bit my lip, raising my eyebrows at my own stupidity, I put the phone down and continued thinking.

What does Caleb like?

For that, I had to contact his mother, which was not what I was going to do, or I had to call Caleb and ask about his likes and dislikes, for which I was not prepared. And except that, I didn't know who could know about his likes and dislikes. Thinking about past days which I spent with him, I tried to think if I had any clue about his favorite food. I started rubbing my temples, chewing my bottom lip, rubbing both of my palms in nervousness and restlessness. There was no particular answer.