Choice

The Unusual Longing

Look who is back and updating :) 

Life had changed; it was such an understatement, but it was a true fact for me. Life had changed for me, more like; it had begun for me. In the past few weeks after Caleb and I decided to happily cook together and be civil with each other. This marriage did not seem like a bad idea, I had been thinking about the contract from which one month had already been passed and felt that being civilized with each other would actually help us reach our ending period.

And we have been civil.

Well, when I say civil, it does not mean cooking every day but there has been no fights, little arguments here and there but that was fine, nothing big. I still avoided my in laws; I still did not call my parents or sister. But I got out of house, shopped and attended a concert, even went to watch a movie. Alone, I must mention. Caleb being civil with me had nothing to do with his intention to go out with me so I did not ask.

"Have you seen my ring?'' While I am rummaging through my cupboard, I heard his voice. I turned around and saw him fixing his tie with a frown on his forehead. He looked pissed; well, I learned that he got pissed whenever he cannot find something.

"Wedding ring?" I asked, softly.

He shook his head, "No, the silver plain ring I wear usually on my other hand."

"I did not see, I have just been to bathroom so not there. Maybe you left at office," I said and turned towards my cupboard again, as I could not spend all day wrapped in mid length towel.

I heard him step towards me, I did not pay attention and kept on collecting my shirt, jeans and other relevant things to put on. "It is not in office, do let me know as soon as possible when you find it," he whispered while standing a step away from my back. I nodded and did not let him know that his voice did hold some significance in my life and I was being bewitched by it. It definitely made me skip a beat whenever he talked to me; this was not right, I was always trying to convince myself.

He seemed to have left the room and I just immediately shut the cupboard and slipped in my clothes. I did not fail to not think about the ring, questions arose in my head regarding it. Yet I was reluctant to ask, patting my hair dry with a towel, I was strolling in my room checking drawers, cabinets and any place where it could have gone. 

Well, I did give up soon after. It was not my ring, I should not care! That was an absolute selfish thing to think about but I was trying to not involve in any business of Caleb. He was affecting me with his deep and low voice, sparkling blue eyes and those pale pink lips that I wanted to kiss a few days ago for no reason. So, from my side, I was trying my best to stay the hell away from that beautiful man, but he was making it so hard, he was polite to me! How could I resist when he looked at me so genuinely.

I shrugged all of those thoughts and focused on my lunch setup with Kate that day. Still there were hours left to meet, but I was befuddled; constantly chewing on my lip, picking on my side nail skin, digging my nails on my palm by curling my hand so tight. Because I knew what Kate was going to ask, she was going to make me revisit that horrifying day of my wedding. 

Not that she didn't have the right for an explanation of what just happened but I was embarrassed about sharing that, it made me feel weak. She had been asking for a lunch for a few weeks as well, but I kept on making excuses. But I had to come out of my shell, I had to face that the world was open and filled with questions, even the ones I did not want to answer.

So, the time finally came, when I was sitting in a cozy restaurant waiting for Kate. Sometimes I used to wear disguise through wigs, contacts and all to be isolated from paparazzi or my parents' associates but that time I had no courage for it, I just chose a random small restaurant instead to be away from the cameras. "Hopefully," I muttered to myself.