Under the Floorboards

Chapter 15: Death

The funny thing about death is that the anticipation is worse than the real thing. Death is quick, peaceful even. But leading up to it, is like torture. It starts with a fire in my toes, burning like hot charcoal being shoved against the palms of my feet. I break out into a scream, everyone startled as I collapse to the floor. The fire rises inside me, beneath my skin and through my veins. It floods through my legs, reaching for my stomach. I cry out, the tears run down my cheeks seem hotter than before. Chaos breaks out; Nina, Damon, Alaska, and Zane scramble to my side, yelling over me as they check me all over. Everything is slow motion, my ears ring and the world spins.

Once the fire reaches my stomach, it feels like ice. It's so cold that it burns my skin, turning purples and blues. I squint through the blurriness in my vision as I struggle for air. Every breath is like a burning torch being shoved down my throat, cutting my tongue raw. My lips chap quickly, my eyes roll back in my head as I gargle air. I'm choking now, dying as they lean over me. They are all panicking, their screams dull behind the buzzing in my head. My arms feel like fire, just like my legs. It's dark, I can't see anything. I'm reaching through the darkness, searching for something that isn't there. I still feel myself dying, I just can't see anything.

I hear my bones cracking, snapping inside my burning and icy skin. I must be so ugly. I hear my heartbeat, something I have grown used to hearing since I have been in the house. Only this time, it is slow. It is an easy thump. Thump. Thump. And then it slows, I count three seconds between each thump. Thump. One. Two. Three. Thump. One. Two. Three. Thump. Over and over, until three becomes six. I feel a slam in my chest, like someone has just rolled a boulder on top of me. I feel weightless, feeling myself crash into the nothingness surrounding me. Think of the worst thing you can imagine. Only it is worse than that, something you'd have to experience to understand. And I hope to God you don't experience it. Ever. Live like I always thought I would... infinitely and free. I never thought I'd really die, never imagined the day to come so soon.

Of course, it is also a relief. I don't have to feel the constant pain. The guilt, like I could've done something more to save the rest of my friends. Once I'm dead; Zane, Alaska, Damon and Nina can get out. They can get out and I can be free of the guilt. In death, I hope I'll feel nothing but happiness. I imagine myself running through the empty field with the rest of my friends trapped in the house. But this darkness is no field.

I ignore the crushing feeling spreading over my body, ignore the ringing in my ears and the distant screaming of my friends. I think of other things. My family. My friends. Before the house. Back when everything was somehow perfect.

I tune everything out, even the memories. I focus on the darkness as I listen to my mother hum the lullaby she used to sing to me as a child. I am a child for a brief moment, rocking in her arms. It melts away, the darkness swallows it. And just like that, I'm dead.