Solitude

Solitude II

Solitude

[Chapter 2]

Raiyne Scarlett Taini

January 25

I groaned as my face hit the cold hard floor which wasn't too far from where I nested my bush and body .

A sequence of 'oohs' & 'yesss' filled my ears as I walked into the bathroom . Shaking my head I clutched my towel tighter around my body as I entered the semi clean stall. I can tell you , they're cleaner than the ones down South .

I quickly, but thoroughly cleaned myself and even washed my hair as a part of my preparation procedure. The repeated noises could still be heard as I finished.

One of my kind , chocolate and 'slim thick' , felt the need to pop her head in my stall before I could rap the towel around me and ask to use my little bar of soap. I ignored her. She was cute, I could tell you that.

The line for the food was long with a quick speed. I stared at the mush as it evenly distributed itself, fitting perfectly in the square shaped section of the tray. I felt the need to regurgitate so I swiftly maneuvered to the nearest trash dispenser and released my already empty insides .

When I attempted to regain my identical position, I was impelled directly into another one of my kind , this one on the thinner side of life with mesmerizing orbs and smooth looking caramel toned skin. I apologized, avoided any more altercations and moved to the back of the line.

Before I could even get to the point where I was eligible to consume the contents of the tray, the whistles were blown, but I was hungry so I sat there and ate.

I, of course, was late to my wood working class and received a shot and was told to report to bathroom duty at night. That for me just meant less sleep which really set me off, but I had no one to pin the blame on except myself.

All of this was my fault. I'm here , my fault. They're gone, my fault. I'm hungry, my fault. I'm standing waiting for these last three to exit out the washing facility so I could clean it up, my fault.

•••

I couldn't sleep and it wasn't because of Ohana's snoring. Or the little noises coming from my other mates.

I was just thinking. Thinking about me and my life. While I'm at it, I might as well share part of my story.

I am Raiyne Scarlett Taini . Raiyne means the 'strong counselor'; Scarlett means 'red'; and Taini means 'born during the returning moon'.

I'm the third of eight children born to Romaine & Violett Gambori. Being apart of such a large household was no walk in the park. You had to keep track of your things and your food.

My mother was a ... an ummm ... maybe later.

But my father, he was a good man , when he wanted. I hated him though. For one sole reason, he had taken away from me one of God's greatest gifts to me, my virginity. I am his oldest girl. He has three others. Caiydence Ivory Leia, Laiylah Ruby Nani and Jaiyllen Azure Malana . But oh no I just had to be the oldest. He took it with a promise. A promise that my life would end if I ever was to even ponder on whether I would release words related to the event out of my mouth. I was paid for my 'services' and I hated it, but I saved up. Each day , I would sit and count and calculate.

•••