I should've known better.

I cant feel no remorse.

Ophelia brown. The girl with no plan B, plan A for me was to survive, for lack of a better word. My dream of course is to go to school, I'm not thinking yale or oxford. Just school. A school where I can study astronomy, but of course to get into college you have to go to high school more than once a week. I try, so hard to get to school often but being that I was forced to live in my older brothers house across town isn't easy. Its two trains and three buses to get to emerald high school, you'd think that living on a small island in east coast canada would make it easier to get there.
I wish I could take that amount of transit. I would. But I only have $10 sitting on my bedside table, or rather the coffee table. I'll most likely use that for some form of food for those nights Josh is out all night, which is often.
I don't live in my parents house, I honestly could not tell you if it's legal or not but I live with my 21 year old brother. Josh. The green boy.
My mother and I used to call him the green boy before she passed mostly because he has bright green eyes and as a little kid he would always have to wear something green or he would throw a tantrum. After my mother died my fathers life went to shit, he no longer took care of us, his nights were spent in his room with a 6 pack and some weed, then some white powder. Anyways, I live with Josh simply, or rather, I guess it's pretty complicated but I live with him because I'd rather be with a man then a women.
That's it.
Josh is a handsome guy. I guess I could say he has a girlfriend but it's not the kind he'd like to introduce to me to. I'm not sure if want to meet her either. Josh and I live in probably the worst part of town but considering so. It's a large house. Only has one bedroom and it could look nice if it weren't for the cigarette holes in the nice furniture my parents probably supplied him with before they officially kicked him out. Or the single mattress in his bedroom, or my bed. Or rather whichever couch I feel like sleeping on that night. The house stinks of weed and other drugs I probably could never name. maybe the reason he can only afford to live on this side of town is because he decides to blow all his money on every drug imaginable. It's honestly sickening but he does keep me safe. Makes sure I don't get into the mess he's gotten himself into.

"I'm home!" A loud voice peers from the front door.

"Hey" I whisper almost to myself not bothering to look up at him. At least he's not high, I don't think.

"Whatcha doing?" He kicks off his worn out boots and sits opposite of me lighting a cigarette. He looks at me questioningly.

"Reading my science textbook for the fifth time over" I shrug.

Callie. His cat. Our cat. Hops up beside  me and rolls onto her back indicating that she wants a belly rub. So I grant her wish and a deep rumble comes out of her.
Josh gets up and walks to the kitchen.

"We don't have much good for her" he says.

"Huh?"

"For Callie; I'm heading out to grab some more, I'll probably pick up a pizza too. I'm planning on staying in with you tonight." He smiles and honest smile while trying to get on his jacket, cigarette still in mouth.

"That sounds great" I smile. He does this every once in a while it's almost like a truce between us. To show me he still cares for me. Usually I need it, especially when the previous night he came home stumbling loudly and shaking from too much cocaine.

"Okay see you soon" he exits through the door and I can hear the door close and his engine start and slowly drift away.