set him straight • jicheol

061

HE is staring at me the way that my knees shake in fright. It took me a thousand pounds of strength and courage to stay in my place and stare back at him.

He looks fine. Parang hindi siya naapektuhan sa mga nangyari. And the way he look at me, it's not how he look at me before. His eyes are...colder and emotionless.

Pakiramdam ko ay nabibingi ako habang hinihintay siyang magsalita. My heart is anticipating for something so painful from his mouth.

I closed my fists and hid then in the pocket of my sweatshirt. My palms feel cold but sweaty, an indication na kinakabahan ako.

Napapitlag ako nang magbukas ang bibig niya para magsalita. The beat of my heart rang in my head, making it hard for me to understand what he said. Or it was just a defense mechanism for me to not hear that unpredictable line.

"I hate you."

The back of my eyes stung and a lump formed in my throat. I wanted to pretend that I didn't hear it, but I know I was just going to make myself a fool again. I swallowed even though my throat hurt. I blinked my tears to hide them.

"S-sorry," I said, sincerely.

He didn't speak. But a certain emotion crossed his eyes while staring at me. I can see his curious eyes trying to dig everything I am hiding behind mine. I couldn't blink, I couldn't avoid.

"Are you that guilty? That out of your desperation, you locked me in this place?," he asked.

I bit my lips. "M-Maybe," I answered.

His face remained stoic. "You can breath, Pres," he said.

A sigh escaped in my lips when he said that. That's when I noticed I wasn't breathing. My lungs hurt when I took gulps of air.

"You are shaking," pansin niya ulit.

Namula yata ako mula ulo hanggang dulo ng daliri ko sa paa dahil sa sinabi niyang iyon. Nakakahiya.

"And you are sweating," he paused, "Are you that afraid of what I might do?," he asked.

Doon ako napaiwas ng tingin.
Yes, I secretly answered.

"You can't even speak. That's new. Though, you are afraid of something kaya iibahin ko ang sandaling ito."

My breathing hitched. But I tried saying something.
"I am not afraid of you, Jihoon. I am afraid of what you'll say."

Nang tingnan ko siya ay nakataas na ang mga kilay niya. "Afraid of what'll I say? Or if I'll forgive you or not?"

Both.

I hate this. Yung feeling na pinapakaba at tinatakot ako ng mas maliit sa akin, especially, a gay. I hated gays. But this particular gay in front of me is different. He's gay, but I think I have a crush on him, or worse. But he hates me.

Jihoon hates me.

As bitter as hell.

"So, I suppose this is the time you will say a long apology speech. Just like what Soonyoung did when he broke up with me for that Chan kid," he said.

Dun ako nainis. I tried not to glare but I just can't. Naiinis na talaga ako sa ex-boyfriend niyang yan.

"I am not like him!," halos nakasigaw kong sagot.

He frowned. He folded his arms in his chest and raised a brow. "Obvious nga. Because Soonyoung never lied to me, he never shouted at me," he said.

I almost scowled. Now that guy is better than me! Kailan lang nung sinabi niyang mas better ako sa lalaking yun!

"O, totoo naman."

I hissed. Bwisit!

"Hoonie! Hoonie! Hoot! Hoot! Asan ka na?!," sigaw mula sa labas.

I closed my fists in annoyance. Jihoon's head turned and he looked at the door. A little smile slowly crept in his lips. Damn.

"He's looking for me," he whispered. Then, he looked at me. "He is already looking for me. Kung wala ka ng sasabihin, aalis na ako. May pupuntahan pa kasi kam—"

"No!," I roared.
I pushed him to the wall and locked him with my body. Nanlaki ang maliliit niyang mata. Bakas ang pagkagulat sa mukha niya, maging ako ay nagulat sa inakto ko.

Pero nagawa ko na, wala ng bawian ito.

I descended my face in his and pressed my lips to his. Little tingles ran from the kiss towards my whole body, making my heart ache more.

This is...something. A good something.

Bago pa man ako makagalaw ay itinulak na niya ako. His face flushed and he glared at me. Nabigla ako ng dumapo ang kamay niya sa pisngi ko.

"Jerk! I hate you! I hate you!," he shouted. Then, he ran out of the door and left me.

Pakiramdam ko ay mas lalong bumigat ang loob ko.
Did I just receive a slap from Jihoon for that kiss?

"...I hate you! I hate you!"

And he hates me more now.

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