Sea of dark

Her fault

Her eyes were set on the door in front of her, she was waiting for the right moment. How was anyone meant to tell someone this, how was SHE meant to? The knob was hot in her palm and a thin layer of sweat had her struggling to twist it. The door creaked open and the sudden bright light from the room inside hurt her eyes. A growl from inside and a ragged, broken voice tore into her reality. Time to face this like the monster she was.

Alex was six years old when her mother abandoned her, her father caved with grief and her life slowly fell apart. She would never really forgot the look on her fathers face when she told him what had happened to her mother, she would never rid of the scars she'd been left with, not just emotionally but physically. He had beat her, her own father had beat her until she was unable to do anything but gasp for breath. She had pleaded with him to stop, she had grabbed and cried and fought but she knew it only made it worse for herself. She should of stayed still, took it without a flinch. She had brought it on herself.

Alex was scared, she was always scared. It infuriated her father, why couldn't she be strong and fierce? Why couldn't she do what she was made to do? Be what she was born to be?

The family had high expectations of Alex, she had let them down. There was no coming back from the destruction she'd caused to the family. She had completely deserved the beating she got from her father, the family fully agreed too. She had caused her mother to die. Alex had put so much pressure on her mother because she had seemed like Alex's escape from the world she had been born into, some light in a sea of dark. Her mother was the only one that seemed right in the family, the only one that'd listen to her. Now there was no one for her to rely on. She knew she shouldn't cry, she knew she shouldn't be so shaken up all the time. She knew all the rules, but why couldn't she follow them? There wasn't much time for her to practice, to train. She had to try though, she had to rid of her emotions. Emotions were too humane. And being human only ever caused vulnerability. Alex was born to be a monster and if she didn't play it safe, she'd be a dead one.