Leave Me Behind

Walking Behind Her

Andrew's p.o.v

Dammit. dammit. dammit. It's all I can think of. Why did things have to go the way they did. If she could have seen who was behind me she could have understood. Jocelyn could have seen why I couldn't do anything.

-Yes I was drunk and I only thought of how much she had hated me. Yet I knew what was at stake. I knew that her life was going to be taken away. Yet I couldn't move her family and his were at stake I knew she would kill me.

I know that she doesn't understand. Not now, not later, not ever...

She doesn't see how much I loved her. Jocelyn doesn't see that I gave her up to him, best friend ,my brother. The guy that knew me the best. Canelo had known me inside out. He knew me better than my parents. Canelo could read me like an open book.

The day he left us I was devastated. I wished that I could have taken the hits I wish that I could have died. Both two reasons one being selfish and the other to lessen pain. The worst part was that I couldn't move. They had a gun pointing at my neck. If I had moved I would be dead along with their families.

Every night I dreamed of Canelo. He comes to my dreams and holds me to a promise I've never made. In those dreams he begs me with tears to take care of what he left behind. A family, a companion, a broken best friend, Jocelyn. In those dreams I scream at him asking him how. How can I keep a promise when they all hate me. I was no saint. Not did I try to be. Yet Canelo always proved to be one.

Just a few hours ago I went to the peer where Jocelyn threw his ashes. Well part of his ashes. When we were young and still united we decided that we would burn something that reminded us of each other on the day we died. We agreed that the idem we had chosen would be burned and scattered on the Pacific Ocean. I could still remember the day I saw her throw them into the ocean.

Flashback:

Jojo was standing there with a tiny box. She was covered in a baby blanket. This was only three days after I gave her those roses. I had been waiting for this day. I had been waiting so somehow I could be near my brother. I heard her sobs. It killed me not to be near her. To not her hug and take her pain away.

Suddenly it was too much for me. I had to hug her. I walked to her. I was behind her and pulled her to my chest. She was tense at first. Then after a second she seemed to relax. She raised her hand and brought it to my face. She caressed my face. Then se opened the box and in there were ashes.

She raised the box and said, "Canelo damn fuck you! You left me. My world is crumbling I don't know what's right or wrong. You said that you would never leave me. YOu would always manage to find a way to protect me to keep me safe!! Why did you leave me!? Damn it Canelo! but it's ok Canelo I release you from the promise. I will find a way to take care of myself. My world will crumble but I won't fall. I am fighter who will not fall. I will take all the hits and remain standing..... Just like you showed me..."

She flipped the box over and all his ashes blew to the ocean to be scattered down. She set the box down and slowly turned. At that moment I was scared. Scared that she would pull me away. As soon as she turned she looked up to me. Her eyes, those eyes I had loved showed sorrow and pain. Then she hugged me. She hugged me as if her life depended on me now.

She looked up at me again. I dared to touch her cheek. There were no words to deceive the moment. For a second all I could feel was her pain. No anger no hate no repulsion. For a moment I was happy to be near her. All of the sudden she got on her tippy toes and kissed me.

She kissed me as if her life depended of it. I felt passion. I felt love. It wasn't soothing, it was intense she put her has around my neck to pull me closer. And all I could do is pull her closer I wanted to her her by my side for the rest of my life. With that kiss I knew what I had to do. I knew that I had continue with the promise Canelo gave her.

Too soon for me she pulled away. She couldn't even look at me in the eye all she could do is run. Jocelyn ran as fast as she could to leave me. That moment was one of the most bittersweet moments I've ever had.

Present day

Just a few hours ago I went to his place where she payed her ashes. There I stood and held my penny. "I promise you bro tht I will protect our little Ale. I will guard her life with mine. I will make sure that her life never crumbles. I will hold you your promise until we see each other in heaven bro". As soon as I said it I threw the penny

Just a few minutes later I received a text confirming that Jojo was moving Malibu. Just a few hours after that she came and asked me why I had killed her best friend. Those words were daggers into my heart. Then I grabbed her hand with her pan my and threw it into the ocean. I pulled her and kissed her. I out in all the pain I felt and somehow it changed to love. When we pulled away.

I walked away. Just a few minutes later once I had confirmed my plans I called her. I was in panic wondering whether she would answer or not. After two long rings she did all I could say was that we would be near each other

Now standing outside my window. Watching the moon rise. Remembering all those good times we had, I knew what I must do

---------------------------------------------- there it is sorry for the long wait. :/ sorry if its not as long as you might have wanted it.