Decisions • BoyxBoy •

Chapter 17

"How to love?" - Dwayne Carter

Recent Chapter: "Malian then slapped my ass one last time and said "You know that ass getting fat cause' of me"."
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Noah's Pov.

Damn, I thought to myself. I didn't want my life to end up this way. Always wanting sex, feeding off of it. This is all I've been doing my whole life. Using my body.

Will I ever know how to love? I wouldn't know. The only thing I've learnt is lust. Letting random people roam my body. As dirty thoughts fled through their empty brains.

When I say empty I mean people who only wanted me for my body. Not for myself, not for me. I sighed. Thinking about how I let Malian get at me. Wasn't my smartest decision. But surely wasn't my most foolish.

He made me feel good during it, even great. It's just something in the back of my mind though just wishing it was Aubrey. Maybe, maybe that is what love is.

When your "cheating" on someone ... but still feel their presence. Needing that someone. Wanting them at all times. Like Usher said "You got it bad".

Maybe... maybe I do know what love is. Maybe my love is within Aubrey. But I wouldn't honestly know. Because like I said, I don't know what love is.

I left Malian's house a while ago. Without a response. What was I going to say? "Thanks for the sex" and walk out? Nah that would be wrong.

Not like walking out without a response wasn't. But now I'm walking home. To go talk with Aubrey. The fucking devil himself. But once my Angel. Once my everything in one.

I knocked on the front door softly. It soon then revealed Aubrey with a tear stained face. He'd looked like went through slavery and back.

I reached for him and pulled him close. He sobbed on my shoulder whispering "I'm sorry's". I knew he cared but didn't know how to express it. I knew...

It's just I can't be in the mix between him and my Mom. I can't date ... or have sex with someone my mom is involved with. It's wrong, and this time I have to stand my ground.

I let go of Aubrey and patted his shoulder. "It's okay buddy" I said. He looked at me crazy when I called him buddy but he should have saw it coming. I walked past him and entered my room.  I then closed and locked the door shut.

I washed up in my connected shower and threw on some boxers to go to sleep in. Smeat was swinging everywhere. I didn't care though, I was just tired of the whole day.

I didn't even know how I felt emotionally about the whole thing. I just wish I didn't live on planet earth sometimes. I sighed and decided to go to sleep.