Date: July 09, 2015
Niall's POV
"The number you are trying to reach is not availa..." Niall was tired of listening to his voicemail. Five years amd never had his calls been ignored by his bandmate, well former bandmate. Countless texts, calls, emails, all ignored. It wasn't the fact that he was being ignored that bothered Niall, it was that he was always close to Zayn, and then suddenly he just leaves them out of nowhere. When Zayn left Niall was miserable, but the pain he felt then was nothing compared to the hurt he was currently feeling. When he left Niall felt lonely and depressed, there is no denying that, but as time went on he and the other lads got busy writing and performing, then the pain started to fade. It wasn't until Niall tried to contact Zayn that he felt something even worse then before....Niall felt the cold pain of rejection. That's when it all started. The sleepless nights, the constant headaches, but worse of all, the heart ache. Niall was slowly breaking, piece by piece.
It was at this point, at 3:00 am, that Niall, once again being kept up by a headache, began to contemplate the events that had taken place in the last couple of months. The longer he thought the deeper down he fell. He slowly started to put the pieces together in his head. It all made sense now. Zayn left because of him. That's why he wasn't answering his calls or texts, it was all because Zayn was angry with him. Not management, not Louis, Harry, or Liam, him.
It wasn't until a choked sob caught in his throat that he relealized he was crying. He reached up to feel the stream of salty tears falling down his face. Is that why Zayn left? Was it because he was too weak? No, it was probably because Niall was being annoying. Actually, it was probably a combination of both. Yeah, that makes sense. After coming to this realization Niall just laid in his bed softly crying, as if he didn't feel bad enough another thought suddenly him. All the pain that the other boys had felt, and all of the fans. That too was his fault. Not only had he made Zayn leave but he caused every one that was important to him pain. That's when I really hit him. The sobs racking his body became more aggressive. All the pain Niall had felt the last few months came tumbling back upon him, this time a million times harder. Niall was so tired, both mentally and physically. He managed to sit up despite his weak body, and slowing wrapped his shaking arms around himself as he continued to cry. The pain in his head now vigorously pulsating throughout his skull as his vision become blurry in the process. But it was okay because he deserved the pain, he deserved it all for causing Zayn to leave. Knowing walking to the bathroom was a lost cause he reached for the trash bin beside his bed and heaved into it. Not much coming up considering he is barely able to keep food down nowadays anyway. Exhausted Niall just laid back down, physically unable to do anything else. He cried until there were no tears left. He soon feel into a fitful nightmare filled sleep.
(Niall dreaming)
"Of course he left because you dumbass, why else?" Harry screamed.
"You knew? Am I really that bad to be around?" Niall whispered not even sure he wanted to know the answer.
"We all knew, fuck Niall we knew that you were dumb, but it's not fucking rocket science." Louis joined in as him, Liam, and Harry all began laughing. Niall just stood there trembling, tears streaming down his pale face.
"Son of a bitch of course he's crying, so weak." Liam spoke breaking Niall's heart even more.
"He is the last person that has the right to cry. We're the ones that felt the pain of Zayn leaving not him. If he's going to cry I'll give him something to cry about." And with that Niall saw Harry charge at him. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a fist coming towards his face.
(End of dream)
Niall awoke in the thick sweat and heavily breathing. He jolted up barely making it to the bathroom before throwing up stomach acid. There Niall lay, head on the toilet lid thinking about his nightmare. It hurt to think about it, both physically and emotionally. He knew he had to be running a fever because it being summertime it was unnatural to be shivering like this. He suddenly felt extremely exhausted, and being too tired to crawl back to his bedroom he laid down onto the cool tile floor and drifted into unconsciousness.
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Hello loves I hope you enjoy this, and yes before you ask there will be a part two. ;)
Numb - Max Jury. This song doesn't really have any correlation to this story but I really like it so :).
All The Love As Always JC XX.
