the first time we were alone in my house, you told me you loved me. we'd been together for about half a year now and i didn't think you'd be the one to say it first. the second time, you held me like glass and you were so afraid that i'd break the second you touched me under my shirt. you were so careful not to hurt me and every time i promised it was okay, you didn't trust yourself. you knew i wasn't ready to go all the way, even when i didn't know myself. the third time, I told you I loved you. i was crying, i didn't know why. i think i was scared you would leave. i was stupid to think you would. it hit the two year mark on the fourth time you visited me. we'd been broken up for a couple months since i saw you with another girl that day. you were drunk out your mind and i think that was the first time i saw you break down crying. i didn't know it was about me until you kept saying you were still in love with me. i ended up forgiving you. it was the end of senior year, you were going to california and i was going to new york for college. we were still together, but we knew we couldnt last with a long distance relationship, we didn't have the money to see each other. so fifth, you told me I made you first feel like a man instead of a boy even if we were so young and didn't know much. you told me how much men can cry just as much as women. you cried after that. i don't think you meant to. i cried too, though. we didn't want to leave each other, yet we knew it'd be for the best. i don't know how to end this, so i'll end it with the last thing i said to him. goodbye.
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this is shit but idc i'll post it
