Dying Ember

A Discouraging Failure

   That night, after a 3 hr dance rehearsal and after I had completed my homework, I lay in bed thinking. "What if i could do it again?" I whispered to myself in the surrounding darkness of my bedroom. " What if I could do it ; make fire?"  As I lay there, I hesitantly tried to recreate the feeling that I had experienced during the Awakening. Alas, no matter how hard I thought, the beautiful whispering language I had heard that afternoon would not reveal itself to me. It wouldn't come, no matter how hard I tried. I pleaded to it, did anything, anything to make it come back . I wanted the thrill that it had given me. The joy of such a gift. But it wouldn't come.... wouldn't come. 

   The next morning, I scuttled around, showering, eating breakfast, and preparing for a day at school. Mom's worried glances were aggravating me, so I left the house early to wait for the bus . As I stood in the heavy, cold morning fog, grief and bitter dissappointment at my failure overtook me and a solitary tear made it's way down my cheek. I dashed it to the side , angry at my show of emotion as the bus roared up the fog, to my street.  

   School was the usual ; it was myself that felt different. Brianna pestered me about my melancony attitude until I snapped at her, telling her to leave my alone. I feel so guilty, now. I had never snapped at her before; I had never kept secrets from her either.

  After school was when things started to get weird. I had been avoiding him all day, and had gotten lucky-he hadn't seen me all day. So, when he caught me alone outside the school's back door, I was caught off guard.