Reasons Why SHINee Shouldn't Drink

Booze, Sparkles, and...TWILIGHT?

  "Edward?" Key's words were slurred as he narrowed his eyes at Jinki, a suspicious look on his face. Onew's brow furrowed in confusion as he placed a hand gently against his friend's head, convinced that a high fever must be affecting his mind. Key's forehead felt normal and the leader's frown became even more pronounced.

"Why are you calling me Edward, Kibum?"

Key giggled and threw his head back against the couch. "Because you're sparkling." Sparkling? That definitely didn't sound right. Jinki turned and stared into the mirror hanging on the wall. He looked like he normally did - tired, a bit pale from not sleeping enough, and definitely not sparkling.

"What are you talking about, Key?"

"I thought that I would be sparkling. I like glitter and stuff. You never liked glitter. Why are you sparkling and not me?" Key pouted in a way that Onew might have found cute had it not been so damn weird. "I want to sparkle too."

"Why does he keep talking about sparkles, Jinki-hyung?" Taemin asked as he walked into the room, dark hair wet and plastered to his forehead.

"Well, he apparently thinks that I'm some guy named Edward."

"Twilight."

"What?" Onew raised a dark eyebrow at the younger member and Taemin simply shrugged.

"Edward is the main love interest in an American book and movie series called Twilight. It's about vampires and they sparkle in the sunlight."

"For one, vampires don't sparkle. Two, how would you know?"

"Key-hyung dragged me to the theater to watch it. He likes supernatural stuff even though it creeps him out. He heard that it was supposed to be a really good movie."

"And?" Onew was genuinely curious now as he stared at Key who was still staring with a strange fixation at the ceiling.

"It sucked. Honestly, I don't know why he's talking about it when he's drunk. I guess we'll never know."

"Wait, drunk?"

"You really couldn't tell, hyung? Look at him - he's completely wasted." Onew scrutinized his band-mate's face more carefully and it was only then that he noticed the red hue coloring his pale skin and the glazy look in his cat-like eyes as he finally moved his gaze from the ceiling.

"Taemin doesn't sparkle. Why is Jinki-hyung the only one who sparkles? I'm the Almighty Key - I can do everything. Why can't I learn how to sparkle?" If it was possible, the pout on Key's face grew and his pleading gaze bore into Onew's. "Jinki, why won't you teach me how to sparkle?"

Onew swallowed, willing himself to be patient with his now obviously drunk friend. "To be fair, I don't know how I learned how to sparkle, Kibum."

"I wonder if it's... Sparkle Condition?" Key's face was completely serious, thoughtful even, as he stared at Onew, honestly wondering in his drunken state if Onew Condition applied to more than just his leader's bad luck. Taemin tried - and failed miserably at muffling his laughter behind his hand. Onew sent him a scathing look that the maknae easily ignored and soon Onew found himself desperately fighting laughter.

Thankfully a distraction came in the form of Jonghyun and Minho entering the living room, identical looks of confusion and fear on their faces. Jonghyun was the first to speak, puppy eyes raking over the pouting form of Key who was now sprawled across the couch. "I heard something about try right and sparkles, and Key looks drunk. Anyone care to explain what's going on?"

"Twilight hyung, Twilight." Taemin chided and Minho turned away and coughed to cover up his laugh so that it wouldn't turn into a full on fit of laughter.