•:PART TWO:•
___________
"What Hurts the Most"
____________
Niall wouldn't be able to tell you how long he just sat there, collapsed onto the ground as he cried, switching from sobs racking through the air to silently crying, but either way, tears were escaping from his eyes and continuously cascading his cheeks, for he just lost the most important thing in his life.
His chest was clenching, as though it was slowly shrinking to just turn to ashes and disappear into nothing. He could almost feel his heart slowly transcending into a deep, dark black.
His head was pounding, throbbing as his mind screamed at him, the guilt rushing through him, coursing through his veins. He felt his own stupidity vanish as he realized what he had done. Regret took its place.
His muscles were aching as the next couple of hours passed, but somehow he found the strength within him to find his phone after a lazy, desperate search, dialing a number he knew by heart and pressing the device to his ear.
It rang once. Twice. Three times.
"Hello?" the voice answered, and Niall automatically sighed in relief, his cheeks still sticky with salty tears.
"Liam," Niall breathed, his voice hoarse and stressed. "I lost him."
He knew this was when Liam was going to begin to panic, his logical, worrying side appearing.
"What are you talking about?" he inquired frantically, his tone raising an octave. "Niall, where's Harry and what happened? He called me the other day and I- oh my god, Niall. You ruined it all, didn't you? He left you."
That's when Niall broke down for the second time that day, with Liam whispering soothing words and hushed through the phone to keep him calm or from performing any irrational actions. The acrimony in the atmosphere was almost unbearable- completely and utterly heartbreaking.
"He did," Niall murmured, wiping the tears from his eyes. "He really did, Li. I already miss him. Is that bad?"
Liam sighed in the other end of the phone. "Imagine how he felt," he stated. "You were with him, yet he still had I miss you."
_*_*_*_
What hurts the most
Is being so close,
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
Niall was so, so incredibly close to saying something, but he couldn't seem to muster up a single word until the image of Harry walking through that door. He had so many things to say to him- and even if Harry hadn't decided to stay with him after his apologies, well, he'd understand, accepting it. He deserved it, after all.
And never knowing
What could've been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
He'd never know if he and Harry had a future together. What would they have gone through? Would marriage have ever been an option for them?
Niall just didn't realize what was happening.
He just wanted to love him.
_*_*_*_
Niall checked the clock after his phone call with Liam to find that it was just past one 'o clock in the morning, so he hesitantly opened up the new text message box, typing away nervously.