Closed Eyes

Chapter 4

"Don't waste your time with explanations. People only hear what they want to hear."

- Paulo Coelho

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Chapter 4

Ed POV

Me and Margot were watching the stars way past midnight, breaking our curfew. It became routine for us to sneak up to the roof, no one knows we come up here.
The sky is completely light up, a party gone wrong, and silver confetti all around.
"Hey, you never told me what happened to your dad."
"Can we just not talk about that?" She made a puppy face, and I think for a few seconds, deciding if I should tell her. We've been friends for almost a week now, and this is the second time she's brought it up. "My mom died when I was two. My dad blamed me. One night he just couldn't take it anymore... he beat the hell out of me. The neighbors heard my screams, and made the call." I looked up at her, stared right into her eyes, and went back to looking at my feet. "I was placed in social services when I was seven, and by the time I was nine, I was back living with my father." By now I can almost feel a teardrop threatening to fall down my right cheek, but I won't let it. "I snapped the other day and almost killed him, so he filed a report on me and I was placed here, better than jail, he says. Now I basically have to stay here until I'm either 'better' or eighteen." No matter how many times I've told my story, the next time is never easier. I remember in details everything that happened.

He grabbed a knife, and stared right at me, placing himself behind the table of the small kitchen. "I should've killed you for what you did." When he took a few steps closer, he pointed the knife at me, and I snapped. I couldn't bear hearing him talk like that anymore. It's not my fault she had cancer.

"I dreamt about her, about how it'd be if I'd actually met her."
All I know about her was told by my dad when he got drunk, some old pictures around my house and that I look like her, at least that's what our neighbors used to say.
I hate this place, but it's better than my house, and I don't have to deal with my dad.
The only thing I have that belonged to her is a golden necklace given to me by my grandparents, that I never take off. Also, I have an old photo of her, smiling to the camera like someone just told her a joke, her smile forever frozen by the photograph. I wish I could just talk to her sometimes, when everything seems bad.
"Thanks for telling me that." For a moment I thought she was going to stay in silence, but she spoke again. "I know it was hard, I'm sorry for pushing you to tell me."
When she looked at me, I could see drying tears on her cheeks, and a few more still threatening to fall. One of them finally does, and I lightly brush it off with my finger.
She looked at me, but this time to my eyes, and to my surprise, she holds her gaze.
I could lose myself in her eyes, dark as the night, but with a shine, that only the most powerful stars have.
Removing my gaze from hers, I look at the stars again, and she follows me.
"That's the Big Dipper." I point to the sky. "See? It's part of the Ursa Major, a pattern, not a constellation." She looks amazed by it, a little child that's seeing the sky for the first time. "You know, there's actually this story, where the Celestial bear hits its nose when coming down to Earth, and its bloody nose gives color to the autumn leaves." She laughed, her smile is so contagious that I soon follow her, and we just stare at the sky. "My dad used to call me little bear on his good days."
She sighed. "My mom used to call me sunshine because of this thing I said when I was a kid."
That caught me by surprise. I wasn't expecting our conversation to go somewhere happy. "What did you say?"
She gave me a look that could only mean 'it's stupid let it go', so I raised my left eyebrow, silently asking for the story. "OK, so picture this: I'm five years old, and I'm just playing around when I decide to ask my mom why the sun was so bright, and she told me that it was trying to beat my shine."
"I don't think that's possible." Taking her hand, I make circular movements with my thumb, her skin soft under my hand, until she almost falls asleep in my shoulder. "Maybe you should go to bed."
"Uh-um. Good night." It's the last thing she says before walking away in the darkness.

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