Worry
Fear
Pure terror
My breathing gets harder
My heart aches a little sharper
Time is running short…
You’re not going to live much longer
I can feel it
And it terrifies me
Wanna know my worst fear?
It’s not the monsters in my head
Or in the dark…
It’s the time when I wake up knowing I won’t see you at all
Ever again
I’m so scared I’m going crazy
Sometimes I just want it to happen so all this worrying will just end
Then I curse myself for thinking that
When you die I’ll have nothing left
Everyone has someone else
You’re all I have
And it kills me to look at you
Knowing that one day you won’t be alive
I’m so terrified of it I wanna scream
I want to threaten you to stop doing those things that kill you
But at the same time I don’t want to hurt you
I see you and little by little I die too
I watch it wreak havoc on your body and there’s nothing I can do
I just stand here being miserable while I watch you die…
All the burned up cigarettes
And empty beer bottles
I just want to hit you
Tell you how much you’re killing me
Killing yourself like that
It makes me feel like you don’t even care that I’ll be all alone
You don’t even care if I’m going to die if you go
You’re so selfish killing yourself
Drowning in your sadness when I’m right there begging you to swim
I feel like you just want to get it over with,
Like you don’t even care what happens to me afterwards
It’s not like I love you or anything
It’s not like your daughter even CARES,
Right?
It’s not like I stay up at night shaking
Because I am so scared to wake up and have you not be breathing
I am so worried that one day you won’t make it home
I want to tear into my flesh
I DO tear into my flesh
I just want to die
Just so I won’t have to deal with that ever happening…
Everyone leaves
But not you
You can’t leave…
Once you leave I’ll be alone
I’ll die.
I don’t want that to happen.
I don’t want to drag myself out of bed,
Every miserable day without you
