The sun's morning rays trickled through the window in my room and rested on my figure. We would be leaving early; how early, I didn't know. The excitement about the prospects of today sent shivers through my whole body. My fingers trembled as I got dressed in one of the few societal dresses I owned. To say I was happy was an understatement.
Sebastian knocked on my door.
"Y/N, the buggy is ready in front. Are you ready?"
"Give me a moment, please." From my bedside table, I pulled a necklace with a cracked blue jewel. It was cheap and fake; Martin and I had found it on the road when I lived in the village; and I had not put any value in it until I left. I pocketed it and opened the door. "I'm ready, let's go."
Sebastian offered me his arm, to which I accepted. He helped me get into the buggy, taking his own spot at the horse's reins. Off we went.
It would be several hours before we reached my old village. Although we left in the early morning, we would surely arrive after night fell. I gazed blankly at the wildflowers and grass that we passed.
"Sebastian?"
"Hm?"
"You're very... realistic. You view things from a reasonable point of view. What should I expect from this visit?" He looked back at me, knitting his eyebrows in confusion.
"Are you asking me for my honest opinion? You won't get angry?"
"I promise I won't get angry."
He sighed. "Well... it's been seven years. You two were both teenagers. Realistically speaking... he probably moved on." I felt myself deflate.
"You're right. I can't even be mad at you because you're right," I chuckled. "Thank you for your honesty."
"Hey, don't lose hope," He smiled. "There's only so much that can happen, right? Either you both still love each other, or you don't. If the former happens, great. If the latter happens, oh well. There are always more fish in the sea."
I rest my head in my palms. "Sebastian, have you ever been in love?"
"No, I don't believe so."
"Then you wouldn't know what it's like. I don't mean to be rude, but even if there are more fish in the sea, I only want one. I want Martin. Perhaps I wouldn't want him, desire him as much as I do know if I had let myself properly cope with my feelings. It sounds selfish and conceited and the likes, but that's just how love works." His face fills with distaste, and he avoids eye contact, focusing on the road in front of us.
Uh oh. Did I offend him?
"Don't you think you're romanticizing him? The idea of him? I mean, is Martin truly as amazing and generous and humble as you make him seem?" Sebastian asked with a tone of faint disrespect.
"Perhaps," I replied, "but it's all I can do. My love life is confined to either Martin or the Phantomhive Manor."
"What ever do you mean?" I could hear the humor in Sebastian's voice. "Bardroy is a perfect suitor. Tanaka, too, if you prefer them a little on the geriatric side."
"Of course, Bard is my ideal companion. Everyone knows that I love my food charred to a crisp." I smiled to myself upon hearing Sebastian laugh from the front of the buggy.
There was a pause between us before Sebastian started once again.
"Y/N?"
"Hm?"
"... Nevermind." His back was rigid with tension. He didn't turn back to look at me.
"You know you're beautiful, right? Conventionally speaking." He started again. I looked up at him. He refused to look at me.
"What you mean?"
"I'm just saying... if things don't work out with Martin... You can find a partner anywhere else. Any man would be lucky to have you."
I mulled over this. I never thought of myself as attractive. No, never ugly; just not particularly beautiful... not breathtaking, not ethereal.
"Thank you," I said. "For telling me, I mean." He grunted in reply.
The ride felt like it was taking forever. I hadn't done much traveling outside of the Phantomhive Manor since I had started working there. I hadn't grown accustomed to the hours of sitting and doing nothing. As much as I wanted to continue chatting with Sebastian, I was feeling a little sleepy from the boredom. I curled up as best as I could in the small wagon and dozed off.
My sleep was light due to how choppy the ride was and the uncomfortable position I was in. Dusk was barely beginning to fall when I decided to wake up completely.
"How much longer, do you think?" I asked.
"It's about two hours still." He replied.
"I'm getting antsy with anticipation, my bones feel too big for my body."
"Huh?" Sebastian looked back, an eyebrow cocked. "That's a little weird."
"You wouldn't think so if you knew what I was feeling," I chuckled. "Sometimes you seem so inhuman to me. It's like you're not even mortal."
"What do you mean?" He hid a smile.
"Yeah, you seem indestructible. Whenever you go on missions and the likes with the Young Master, you scarcely finish with a scratch, and you've survived so many mortal wounds. I don't know how you do it." I explained, reminiscent of the various occasions where I would have to patch up the injuries he obtained from battle.
"Well," he began, "I guess I drank my milk as a child. I'm basically invincible now." Sebastian flashed me a toothy grin, causing me to giggle.
"Okay, Sebastian, I get it. Your parents had money." My retort caused him to laugh.
Conversation between us makes the two hours pass like sand between fingers. The village was coming into sight. The lamps burned outside and illuminated the bustling night market. I felt eyes on us as we pulled in and tied the buggy, two foreigners. I recognized a few faces, others not.
"Y/N?" A young woman approached me. Her round face and freckles remind me of...
"Margaret?"
"So it is you? How long has it been? What brings you back?" She pulled me in for a hug. I returned it. She was younger and was quite neutral to me when I lived in the village. I hope I'll warm up to her.
"It has been too long, huh? I don't think I've been back here for about 7 years. And I've come back for memories sake." I lied.
"Oh. Oh... Who's that?" She nodded her head to Sebastian, who was tending to the horse pulling our wagon. He was out of earshot.
"Oh, Sebastian? He's just one of my friends. He works with me serving the Earl Phantomhive."
"He's cute. I remember you were crushing on Martin forever, but with him? You upgraded." She giggled. I raised my eyebrows in shock, my face heating up.
"No, we're not involved... like that." I looked back at Sebastian, who was beginning to approach us. "Actually, does Martin still live here?"
"Yeah, he still lives in the same house. His folks passed a few years ago and he inherited the house." She turned to Sebastian as he joins the conversation."Hi, I'm Margaret. It's a pleasure to meet you."
"It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance." Sebastian took her hand, dipping his head to kiss her knuckles. She covers her blush with her other hand.
"Well, it's been wonderful to reconnect with you, Margaret. We'll probably be in town for a few days." I scribbled the Phantomhive Manor address on a scrawl of paper from a notebook I keep in my bag. "This is the address where we live. If you ever want to write, I mean."
Margaret smiled. "Or course I'd love to write. You were one of the only nice girls who wanted to play with me when you lived here." She curtsied and walked away.
I elbowed Sebastian in the ribs playfully. "She totally had a crush on you. She even thought we were together and she told me I had upgraded, how silly is that?"
"Haha. How silly..." Sebastian murmured.
"Let's go. We can't waste any more time." I interlocked arms with Sebastian, and we make our way to Martin's house.
A/N
sorry for not uploading in a long time. i had no idea how to write this chapter and develop the relationship between the reader and sebastian 😳😳 i'll try to write more frequently now that i've got some ideas to work with. hehe <3 thanks for reading
