MANAN - Cloud with a Silver Lining

16.3-Let's take a break

Manik –Nandini...tell Me something Nandini....Did you ever miss me..??

Nandini – Manik is that even important now Manik..??

Manik – (getting angry) yes it is Nandini...it is important...(raising his voice with every word) It is important to me to know if you ever cared for me...it is important for me to know if my thoughts ever crossed your mind in all these years...it is important for me to know all these things...I can't wear this façade anymore...I am tired of pretending...I need get rid of this mask to know..(fell on the floor crying)...to know if you ever loved me..!!

Just then Manik's phone rang. Manik disconnected the call without even looking at caller. His eyes were stuck at Nandini. The caller kept calling incessantly while Manik kept repeating his act of disconnecting the call without breaking the eye lock with Nandini. When the phone rang for the sixth time, Nandini took it from Manik and answered the call.

Nandini – Haan Cabir.....No I think he is busy with some work, I heard the phone ringing so picked it up...I don't think he will be able to join you guys today......Yes by the looks of it, he seems to be really busy......Ok....ya fine...I'll ask him to have his dinner...no worries...Have a good time guys..Enjoy...!!

Nandini disconnected the call and kept the phone on the side table. She too sat on the floor opposite to Manik. Manik took it as a signal to continue.

Manik – Nandini...I had always lived with a mask on all the time....I always had to pretend for others happiness but then you came to my life...I thought of wearing the mask in front of you as well but then I failed miserably...You could always guess my real state almost all the time...I had then decided, no matter what the circumstances are, I would always be my true self in front of you, happiness, sorrow, anger, pride whatever it might be, I won't fake any emotions and that was why it hurts to wear this pretense mask in front you...!!...As I said I am tired...tired of faking emotions.. I am exhausted with pretending I am fine when in reality I am nothing but a broken soul....this fakeness is choking me...

By now Manik's voice too choked and he coughed a couple of times to bring it back in order to continue. Nandini noticed Manik's uneasiness and handed him a glass of water which he rejected. Nandini brought the glass in front his face as a gesture for him to have it but the stubborn Manik Malhotra turned his face to the other side and continued coughing. Manik had however forgotten the fact that over these years Nandini had become a clowned version of him especially when it comes to being stubborn. Soon her hand too followed the trajectory of Manik's face and he a hand approaching him. He turned to look at Nandini who held his chin and place the glass very close to lips. Manik seeing no escape held the glass with his hand and started drinking. After a few minutes, he composed himself and continued

Manik – You know I missed this...this what were just now...I was angry and I could show it...I missed this comfort because sadly for me no one apart from you was capable of giving me this...That day when you decided to walk out of my life you took away this comfort with you...I turned to my friends but like always I found them looking up to me with hope in their eyes..hope to bring them back together...hope to make it all okay...as if I was the Savior...but alas what they did not realize was the fact that this time their savior was suffering from the biggest loss of his life...I didn't even try to heal them because I myself was devastated to the extent that I had no clue if I could pull myself back together..pulling them together was completely out of question...!!

Nandini gave him a questioning look..

Manik – You might be wondering why pulling them together was needed..!!(Nandini nodded) They all drifted apart....A few days after we, rather you, decided to part our ways, Fab5 too had a break up...Thankfully we all had our respective careers to take the blame for the split and eased the patching up process...Why do you think we all work individually...Although in the public eyes individual performances started around 3 years ago, the foundation of it, however, was laid 5 years ago...Now that I look back I sometimes feel it was my fault and at other times I feel it was needed...We all were together since almost always and hence I guess this break from it was something that everyone needed...But Me...I needed company Nandini...this break came at the right time for everyone but me since it pushed me deeper into the darkness...For the initial few months my life had become pointless and aimless...You know after you left sulking had become my favorite hobby...Everything around had become nonexistent for me...the only thing that mattered to me was my grief...I ignored everyone around me including my parents...My parents once they got to know the truth of our split Nandini, they were mad at me for breaking your trust...You were my Mom's favorite...My Dad never met you but after you left he told me I had lost the best thing that had happened to my life... I was too guilty in my own eyes that going up to my parents and asking for an apology was not even an option for me...Moreover I knew all they would ask me to do for the apology was to get you back in my life but that toh was something completely unattainable for me..So I resorted to the act of ignorance... They ignored me and I ignored them...But what I overlooked was the fact that my ignorant acts were adding up in my account of "wrong doings" and as soon as I offences reached the brink, I was awarded with the most painful sentence of my life..!!