I felt a pair of strong arms wrap themselves around my waist while my head was cradled upon a muscly bicep. My eyes refused to open, yet my ears could hear everything happening around me.
"The poor girl has fainted!" A high pitched cry came from the other far side of the room. Murmured voices chilled me to the bone. A tickling senstation made its way down my ears the light breaths dipped into my ear canal filling it with various prancing air molecules, each running up and down the inside of my head. I tried to smack the whinny sound away, but my movements were sluggish and lethargic. And I only ended up smacking my slack wrist against a smooth, rock hard chest. I whimpered slightly feeling stupid, useless, worthless.
"Don't you worry little one. You're fine. Nodd off why won't you? I'll get you out of the plane. Don't worry little one..."
***
"You're useless, stupid piece of shit!" The raised voices were beginning to frighten me. They towered over me, making me feel small.
Stupid, useless, worthless....
That was the mantra. Every night when the topic of my parents crawled up I recived a yelling at. A beating.
Stupid, useless, worthless...
He would remind me about how I fit that job description perfectly. He would ensure it would never leave my head.
Stupid, useless, worthless...
It was a never ending cycle of pain and misery. I thought it would never stop. I thought this was the end. I thought a lot of things. But the one thought, i had harboured from the world was... love. But it was never going to be an option.
Stupid, useless, worthless...
I tried, i really did. I wanted him to love me like his own. I craved a mother's touch. To be a father's pride. To share an uncle's joy. But we aren't all lucky. We aren't all privileged. Some of us are just:
Stupid, useless, worthless...
"You are the reason your mother and father left you. You're the reason they forgot. You're the reason they lost their minds. You're the reason they couldn't care less. And you.. are the reason they aren't comming back." He jeered at me, mocking me, blaming me. My parents had gone mad, they had forgotton me. They had left me with the devil of a man I had to call uncle.
For months on end civil services searched for any remaining relatives. For months I was homeless, shipped from foster home to foster home. A wandering would amoung the rubble. For a while I had lost the will keep going, lost the will to keep living.
That was the year they found this shell of a man. That was the year everything went downhill...
"Are you even listenening to me girl?" No-one called me by my real name. Everyone called me 'you', 'it', 'girl', 'stupid'. No-one cared that my name was Claire. I hadn't hear anyone call me that in over 10 years. The last time someone had refered to me by name was when i was 7, saying goodbye to both my parents as they went on their week-long trip to the Amazon rainforest. I stayed with my grandmother for the week, but the shock that she had lost her daughter and son in law to the harsh jungle, sent her heart into overdrive. She was only beginning to piece together her heart after gramps had passed away from lung cancer. Mum was the oldest in her family, she had a brother yet she never talked about his existence. He ran away at the age of 16 and left his family for booze. In a way mum was the only child in the eyes of gran. When she was proclaimed crazy and missing, my grandmother experienced her stroke before my seven year old self.
The anguish in her eyes and the way her face srunched up in pain sent disturbed chills down my spine. It didn't take long for her cold body to lay motionless on the floor. I didn't say anything for days. I couldn't. I had no recolection of what was going on. I slowly made my way toward the phone. I knew what to do. But I knew, somewhere in my mind, there was no point. There was nothing that could be done to save her. She was dead. She wasn't going to come back, she want going to cradle me and just all my fears.
No tears were shed. No emotion shown. Her lifeless body left me immune to the aftermath of death, the sorrow and the pain. But most importantly, the loss. Though it never went away, it was a permanent feeling, I welcomed it. If it refused to go, who was I to fight?
Stupid, useless, worthless...
It didn't matter the ammount of times he said it. I had believed it long ago. I had accepted I was a brainless imbecile, but the fact that he let it crop up in every speech he orated, irritated me beyond mesure.
My confidence was already wearing thin. My self-esteem broken up. He kept going and going. I had already heard it a million times. It didnt matter to me anymore. I was 18 now, ready to take on the world. Away from the craziness that was my life.
"Uncle, i don't give a fuck about you. I never have. I'm old enough, we all know you hate my guys just as much as I cannot stand yours. I'm leaving." My definite face was dressed in a smug grin. I knew I had won, no matter the belting I would receive later. He wanted me gone.
***
"What is this little one?" A husky voice shook me out of my nightmare. The nightmare that was my reality...
I felt around my waist for my shirt but there was nothing but red marked lines on bare skin. Luckily my thick bra straps hid the newest scabs.
"Pl-pl-pl-lea-se just leave it alone. It's nothing... don't... it's nothing," i gave up easily, after years and years of abuse, i didn't have the will to continue.
Fingers trailed against the skin a nd my imediate reaction was to tense up into a ball and bite back a cry. My eyes watered as my lips clamped shut.
Don't say a word... if you cry or wince, another onslaught will come. Just keep it in so his drunk self can move on.
"What happened to you?" Disbelief etched into the boy's features.
That was when I broke down.
No-one had ever cared so much. Why? I'm just a stupid, useless, worthless girl. No-one cares about me. So why does he?
___________
Another chapter done. In this book I think I'm going to have these chapters considerably shorter. Probably 1000 words each. Or so... that way I can hopefully have more cliffhangers and more chances to update. Comment your answers. Vote if you want more 😆
Questions:
1- How many people do you think were on the plane that have survived .
2- The boy, i need name... suggestions... comment here:.
3- Who thinks she is actually stupid, useless, worthless?
Thanks for reading
-LG
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Falling for the jungle boy
Aventura****Discontinued until further notice**** "The ground under us all was throttling, thundering, spinning off axis. The airtight walls prevented the breeze that I longed so desperately for. Grunt . Heave . Wheeze. The pattern to survive continued like...
