If Fate is What You Call It

Candles On The Ground

Fanfic of a fanfic. This was written by a huge Dani fan and I feel like this needs to be posted. Although she wishes to remain anonymous, tuwang tuwa talaga ako dito. Hope you guys love it too.

********************

*alternative universe/All Saints' Day special*

It was a  chilly night, though not windy.  Thank goodness for that, Dani thought.  She just got home from work, with a paper bag of scented candles she bought from the store near her workplace.  She went to the balcony of her pad, and slowly arranged the candles on the ground.  She, then, went to her room, and got out a small container that looked like a heart, went back to the veranda, and put it in the middle of where she set the candles.

She then, proceeded to the kitchen, grabbed a lighter, and went back to the veranda, and lit the candles, one by one.  As she lit them, the fragrance of lavender started to fill the place.  She, then, sat down, and hugged her knees while staring at the candles, and the heart shaped container.

It was the container that held the ashes of her dad.

"Hi, dad," she said, as she touched the heart in the middle of the candles. 

"I miss you so much.".

With that sentence, a tear, then two, then more, started to fall, giving way to a torrent of tears that she allowed herself to unleash.  It was as if a dam locked inside of her broke, and she couldn't stop her shoulders from shaking.

She didn't notice that her phone was ringing for the fourth time, as she left it on the dining table.  The ringing was incessant, but she was oblivious to anything else around her.  All she felt was her dad's presence, and his absence, all mixed together with the lavender in the air.  While there was much sadness gripping her, strangely, a mantle of peace seemed to cloak her after the dam broke inside.

"I can let you go now, dad," she whispered.  "But I promise I won't forget you.  I promise."

The door to her pad clicked open, without her being aware of it.  Another set of footfalls were imprinted on the floor of her pad, as if the owner was in a hurry, and looking for something.  It stopped when they were a foot away from the veranda.

"Dad, I want you to know that I'm better now," the owner of the footfalls heard Dani say. 

"Someone's taking good care of me, more than I could possibly deserve.  He's just like you, dad.  But whether he stays or goes,  I promise I'll be all right.  After you've gone, I've realized that anyone can go anytime," she whispered between tears.

"And I need to be ready whenever that happens.  But, please, sana, pasabi naman kay God na huwag muna agad, ha? Please?"

Dani, then, stood up to get a box of tissues.  She turned around, and then gasped at the figure in front of her.

"RJ?" she said, "What are you doing here?  Akala ko binisita nyo mommy nyo sa memorial park? Napagod ka pa... Do you need water?  Food?"

RJ, then, moved closer, and embraced her, with all the strength he had. 

"No,I just need you right now."

"Bakit?  Anong nangyari?"

"You.  I was calling you awhile ago. You didn't answer the phone.  I get worried when you don't answer the phone.  Then I come in and see you like this.  Nadurog ako nung nakita kitang ganyan.  And you didn't tell me. Why didn't you call?"

"I... I didn't want to disturb you.  I thought I would just light up the candles and reminisce, but I couldn't help it.  I'm sorry for worrying you and not answering the phone, pero, I know how important your visit to your mom is."

He sighed, and hugged her tighter.  "There you go again, not wanting to disturb me.  If I haven't made it clear by now, Daniella, I want you to disturb me. I want you to bother me. I need you to bug me and tell me what's bugging you.  So please, kung nalulungkot ka, kung kailangan mo ng karamay, please, let me know. I want to be there for you and with you.  Please Dani, promise me."

"Nahihiya pa rin ako, believe it or not.  You know how I am about invading someone's time and space. I'll try, Warty, ok?  I'll try."

He held her face in his hands and thumbed through her tears. 

"I'm not going anywhere, Ninin. I'm here. I'm here. Okay?"

"Okay."

With that,  she led him to the veranda, where they both sat down, and basked in the mix of the chilly air, the lavender scent, the presence, and the absence, of the souls they loved and wept for.