I don't know why I keep trying. I don't belong here, I don't belong belong anywhere. I hate my life. My mom keeps trying to change me. Why can't she see me as who I am. She thinks I'm a joke, she thinks I'm a freak. And yes, I know what your thinking, oh your just over reacting she never put in words. Well, your wrong, in my face screaming I'm a freak. Honestly who does that. I just don't know what to do I just can't do anything right apparently. Im just done I don't want to do it anymore, I can't live this Hell of a life anymore. All my friends have left me wanting to be "popular". What's so good about that. It's not like people actually like you. It's Halloween and I'm alone in my room cutting... again. I've been doing it so much lately, even so no one has noticed, I wear long sleeves all the time anyway. It hurts it's like a thousand paper cuts. But I do it lightly so you can see the cuts as easily. Even my closest friend Angi hasn't noticed. That's a good thing. Right? I just don't know. My heart hurts as much as my head right now. The pounding makes me want to scream. No, this isn't good I'm crying again, why does this happen, this will just lead to my mom asking more questions leading to more screaming. I think I should go to bed but that's when I think about things more and cry more. There's even times I wake up screaming seeing an image of my dead limp body with a rope tied around my neck. I wonder if I can see the future. Is this my future? But people say one small decision can change your future. I hope at this point I'm hoping it comes true. I should try and wear that outfit more often.
