To Be

1

"Do you love me?"

"Yes"

"Do you actually love me?"

"Yes, why are you asking?"

"If  I made the biggest mistake in my life, would you still love me?"

"Have you ever heard people say, everyone makes mistakes?"

"Yes"

"No matter what you do, I'll still love you because any mistake you might commit, there is always a reason behind it."

"Then promise me one thing"

"What"

"If anything happens to me, just smile and move on"

"What do you mean? What are you saying?"

"Promise me"

"I promise you"

Its not easy to lose someone, I have heard this phrase many times in my life for the last 17 years. To lose someone you cherish, someone close to you, someone you dream't a future with. Now i'm standing here, on a bright sunny day looking at the relatives of the person I love, watching them cry as they bury their son body into his tomb, while other people are enjoying there day as if nothing is happening. 

A week ago, I woke up to find out on the news that someone was murdered, I never knew what it felt having someone you know getting murdered, at first they didn't say any details about it, till Wednesday, and when I heard more detailed about it. I cried. I cried all night, all alone without that person by my side, without that person I cherish being with me ever again. 

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Standing in front of my window looking at the empty street, thinking, just thinking what could be happening in this street, what would be happening.

"Fae, come down for breakfast", my mom called from downstairs every morning and every night for dinner.

As I walk down the stairs, the pictures on the  wall of all my family members smiling, brings a little warm inside me. I walk to the kitchen and sit on the chair tool waiting for my mom to serve me breakfast. 

"Today is a big day, huh.", my mom said.

I stay silent.

"Are you ok?"

"I'm fine."

"Ok then. Well you have to leave soon or you'll be late."

"I'm leaving after I finish eating."

I didn't need to take the bus, or car to get to school it wasn't that far from home, but my mom started  getting worried ever since Dina my sister died, and so I had to take the bus to school. 

I sat in my usual sit at the back of the bus, not many sit  back there since its left for unwanted people. Once the bus stopped and students started standing and leaving the bus, I waited till everyone was gone then got up to leave, not having self-confidence I walked down the stair trying not to get too much attention from others. 

When both of my feet touched the ground, I sight and start heading to the school door but was stopped by the one and only.

"Good morning gorgeous!" Lea said, as she runs to hug me.

"Hey, How are you?", I say.

"I'm great"

We walked quietly to class, when I arrived in front of the door of my class, we exchanged good byes and she left.  

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I hope you enjoyed it (:

Fx