Voiceless

Chapter Eight

"Anna was just teasing you, you're not having an insemination today, you're having a HSG" Dr Jeffrey explained. I stared at him blankly in the standard white hospital clothes that they have provided. Dr Jeffrey sighed irritably, clearly unable to communicate with people not in the same category as him. I can promise I could see sweat trickling down his forehead as he attempted 'difficult' conversation with me. 

"HSG stands for a word that is too long for me to bother with. In short terms it's an x-ray test that examines your uterus and fallopian tubes. It's just to check whether there will be any abnormalities during your pregnancy. The other patients didn't have to do this as they are already pregnant so it's obvious they don't have any problems yet. But as you're the 'fresh project' we have to complete all the steps"

"So what are the steps of this procedure?" I asked, trying to stay calm but in reality I was nervous as hell. My heart was beating hard against my rib cage. I could almost feel it trying to break through my casing of bones and set itself free. Free from this unexpected terror of unknowing.

"We will inject anaesthetic into your cervix so you are numb and don't feel the catheter. Don't worry it shouldn't hurt however you may feel quite uncomfortable. We will inject dye so we can see clearly if there are any abnormalities from the x-ray. Different women have different experiences so don't be dependent on what others say. You're just going to have to suck it up and do what you have to do"

"Great advice doc" I muttered sarcastically and only caught his smirk in time before he turned around to collect his equipment. "Remember, you're the one who signed up for this" he reminded me. Rolling my eyes, I stared down at my hospital clothes and hated how plain it seemed. Looking down at the gown my mind jolted as I remembered the button camera. My heart beat faster than I thought it could. I forgot about the camera! I nervously looked around for my clothes but remembered that a nurse came in and carried them away.

"Uh, doc?" I asked in a rush.

"Hmm?" he responded. I drummed my fingers on the metal railings of my bed.

"D'you know where my clothes are? I uh, left something" I explained. Dr Jeffrey turned around and frowned. "What could you have possibly left? We told you to leave all devices in your room so your phone shouldn't be here" he informed me.

"I uh, left my underwear" I told him the first thing that came to my head before my cheeks flamed. Underwear? Where did that come from? Dr Jeffrey eyed me suspiciously and I crossed my legs in embarassment even though I knew for sure they were on!

"You do not even need them right now"

"I know! But... I feel awkward when I'm not in the same room as them" I answered pathetically and sent him a weak smile.

"There's a first time for everything" he mumbled and led me into a small locker room. In a neat pile were my clothes folded onto a bench. I felt Dr Jeffrey's presence behind me and turned around to face him humiliatingly.

"Uh, it's quite embarassing" I mumbled. The doctor looked shocked. "Oh for goodness sake, I'm a doctor! I've seen everything!" he announced but left the room all the same. I ran towards my clothes and took the camera out of my jacket pocket. It soon came to my mind that although I was unconscious as they took me to the hospital, the recorder would have gotten everything.

I wondered where to place the camera. It was too noticeable on a plain white nightgown so I clipped it onto my ear. I made sure to push my hair behind my ears before entering the office again.

"There was no point in receiving your... undergarment as you would need them removed anyway for the procedure" Dr Jeffrey explained. I nodded and laid down on the chair. I squeezed my eyes shut as Dr Jeffrey got... close. My face burned hot with the humiliation. I felt the cold metal of the syringe and then suddenly I felt nothing.

"What's happening?" I asked him confused, and yet relieved, that I was feeling no pain.

"Don't worry, you're just numb" he explained. "I'm placing the catheter in now" he told me before I felt an uncomfortable pain. I bit my lip to stop myself from whimpering. God, what did I get myself into?

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"How did it go?" Anna asked me with a smirk. I gritted my teeth, "Perfectly well" I lied. I was still in my hospital gown and lying down in a comfortable position. The doctor said I might have some cramps and he was right. I just squeezed my eyes as they passed. Anna smiled at me nastily and left the room as I glowered at her. Pulling off the button that was clipped to my ear, I wiped it and placed it in the drawer besides me. I knew Adrienne told me to wear it at all time but I already recorded my surroundings and there was nothing new to capture. I slid back down when suddenly a voice boomed through speakers that I noticed for the first time.

"Can all patients come to the medical room for your first check-up"

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. Check up? Who said anything about a check up?

I got up slowly from the bed, ignoring the strain of the springs on the mattress. I placed my hand on the door handle when it hit me that I didn't even know where I was going. I tapped my foot impatiently until I heard the slaps of feet hitting the cold laminated floor behind my door. I twisted the handle and opened the door to see a herd of women in a small and narrow hallway. Well I'd say small and narrow but let's keep in mind that all these women were in various stages of pregnancy. Nurses were leading the patients through a door and I followed them. We entered a big empty hall with precisely one door on the left which probably led to our check up"

"Group A, B, C and D please line up" a nurse ordered. The women dispersed into four lines whereas I stood in the middle, not clearly sure what I was meant to do. Anna walked towards me with a knowing grin.

"You lost?"

"What do you think?" I scowled. She grabbed me by the elbow and steered me to the last line, group D. "You're in this group as you all share the first hall" Anna explained. I frowned.

"But I don't share anything with these people" I stated.

"You will after this check up"

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