days // l.h (slow)

Decemeber 31st

Leanne

All I can see is his lips.

The bottom lip pushed out.

The red tint.

Them close to mine.

So close.

How can I see him after that? I'm still embarrassed.

I keep replaying it in my head. He wanted to kiss me, I know it. He leaned in too!

Why did I even put myself in that situation? I should've just gotten up as soon as I realized I was laying on top of him.

I shouldn't have stared into his bright blue eyes. All of my memories with him rushed back to me.

Those times we were just staring into each others eyes.

When I was truly happy.

I look up into the bathroom mirror to see a glisten of a tear rolling down my check.

Weakness.

This was my choice.  It was for the best. I shouldn't be regretting this.

I still get to see him. But it hurts.

Crawling back into my warm bed, I submerge my body in my sheets.

My eyes stay open trying to keep the vision of Luke to cloud my head.

Looking around the room I see Luke chasing me into the bathroom trying to tickle me.

I see him walking over to my bed with a bowl of soup and a bottle of pills.

Luke climbs into bed with me to holding me while I soak his sleeve with tears.

I watch him leave with tears in his eyes, turning around to wave in a final goodbye.

I jump up out of bed to escape the memories that lived in this room.

Slowly walking down the stairs, I hear a mummers of voices in the kitchen. I walk in and see Luke sitting on the bar stool as my mom scurries around the kitchen.

Luke turns to me and smiles.

"Good morning Lee."

"G-Good morning Luke." I say fixing my hair self consciously.

"Leanne, get dressed so we can decorate." My mom nags.

I run up the stairs and go to my open closet. After I change into jeans and a t-shirt, I walk to the bathroom to brush my teeth and do my hair.

When I get back down stairs, Luke is standing in the kitchen with a frilly apron on covered in powder. I pull out my phone from my pocket and take a picture of him.

"Looking good." I giggle.

He turns to me to stick his tongue out.

I feel nostalgia as I sit and watch him mix the cookie dough.

Luke would always cook or bake me random things when we would be up late studying. He was my best distraction.

"Leanne, can you come help me put these streamers up?" My mom hollers from the living room.

I walk in to see her standing on a chair. Pulling one over, I stand on it with her.

"So today is one of your special days with Luke?"

I hum in reply as I raise my hand to tape the ceiling.

"He told me he was early so I put him to work."