Dear Journal.. (Hetalia - Romano's Final Rant)

Forgiveness

 "Dear Journal,

Nonno came to me today. He said he was sorry for leaving me. Is it bad that I don't believe him? For all those years, he left me alone and now he comes back to tell me he's sorry? That's probably one of the biggest hypocrisies that I've ever heard in my life. And believe me, I've lived a pretty long life.

He just stood there, Journal, looking as if someone kicked him in the face. He'd probably deserve it if someone does kick him. Kick him in the place where the sun doesn't shine. Si, he'd deserve it.

I've had enough of lies, you know? I hate it. Why can't people just.. Just speak the truth for once?

If Nonno hates me then he should just say it to my face! Not stand here and grovel for forgiveness; lifting my hopes up then crushing them down afterwards.

I hate it. I hate it. I hate him.

Who can I trust, Journal?

End."

-----o0o-----

Antonio skipped happily towards Lovino's hospital room. That talk with Sadik revitalized his energy and now, the only thing the Spaniard wanted to do was talk to his precious tomate. He had a lot of things to say to him but he wouldn't rush him. His little Lovi needed rest so he'll talk to him when he's able.

He hummed a cheerful tune then knocked on the door once he reached the little Italian's door. "Loviii~" He almost sang his name as he knocked. He was about to call once more when he heard the shuffling of a chair and hushed voices talking. The Spaniard tilted his head to the side but said nothing.

"Lovi?"

The door opened and he was met by a smiling Herakles and a scowling Lovino. "What do you want, bastard?" the Italian asked.

"Oh hush, Lovino," Herakles reprimanded. "He's visiting you so be grateful."

The smaller man grunted as he crossed his arms over his chest, abruptly turning his face away from the two. "Bastards."

The Grecian man shook his head before opening the door wider for the Spaniard. "Come in," he said softly, his voice a little drowsy by coherent, nonetheless.

Antonio only blinked before nodding. He stepped inside the room, his eyes landing on the man on the bed. "Lovi," he said solemnly. Herakles raised a brow then pressed a hand on his shoulder. He nodded a little to him before turning to the Italian.

"I'll be heading out now, Lovino." When the said man kept his quiet, Herakles only sighed. He was about to step out when he remembered something. "And Vino," he called. He slid a little book from his bag and lightly tossed it towards the empty space of the bed. Lovino's eyes widened in recognition before snatching the book up then hid it under his pillow.

"Fuck off, bastard." He flipped his finger at him while scowling. His brother chuckled a little before heading out.

When the two men were left alone, an air of awkward silence lingered in the air. The tension was heavy and suffocating as the two of them locked eyes and stared (well, Lovino was glaring but it's already expected.

Minutes passed before Antonio gathered the courage to break the tension. "Lovi," he said, his voice a bit hopeful. "It's uh.. good that you're awake now." The usual cheerfulness the Spaniard had was nowhere to be found at the moment. Only awkwardness.

Lovino didn't answer, choosing instead to look outside the window. Antonio sighed at this before pulling the chair up and sat down. "Lovi.. Lovi please, talk to me." Frustration bubbled in his veins but he controlled himself. He leaned forward and took the Italian's hand. Lovino jerked then stiffened but made no comment.

"Alright then," Antonio said after a moment. "Just listen, bueno?" Still, nothing.

Taking his cue, Antonio played with Lovino's slender fingers as he thought of the things that he'll say. "Lo siento, Lovi.. For.. For not noticing that you were in pain. For not realizing that you needed me and for not being there for you. I'm sorry for everything." He had his head down as he rubbed circles on the smaller hand. "Por favor, perdóname, Lovi.."

Lovino said nothing but both of them felt the tension lift between them, turning it into a comfortable silence.

"Tch, shut up, you dumbass." Antonio's eyes widened at Lovino's words then pouted. "Loviiiiiiiiiiiiii! That's mean!"

"Do I look like I give a fuck?" he retorted though the Spaniard was pretty sure that he could see a glimmer of amusement behind the Italian's forest green eyes.

Lovi was happy again~