The Lost Records

The Maniac Returns

      Klein was an unusual person. He hated puppies and kittens. He hated candy and sweets. He hated rainbows and unicorns. He hated presents  and joy. He even hated the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus.
     No one liked Klein and the feeling was mutual. Klein hated everything and everyone. To help with his rage, Klein killed, maimed, and tortured innocent people and he felt good about it.
     Klein was the madman from the first story, "Amnesia and a knife". He was the madman that dismembered the little girl, do you remember now. Anyway, we should get back to the plot now.
     Klein was stalking his next victim. A blonde girl with glasses. He could almost feel the knife cutting through her flesh. He couldn't wait to mutilate her.
     If your wondering exactly how he finally snapped then I, the awesomely awesome  narrator of awesomeness (my name is Joe by the way, nice to meet you) will tell you. Jk figure it out for yourself. Ok fine, he got angry that he wasn't given enough screentime on a show, so he started killing people until he was given more appearances. 
     He completely forgot about the show though and all his memories before it, so he thinks he does it because he likes it, which he does. Killing innocent people makes him feel like his first girlfriend didn't leave him. Like the other kids in high school didn't call him zit-face, four-eyes,   or @!?&*#%.
     So back to the plot, again. Klein was slowly stalking the girl. Slowly, slowly, slowly, slo... oh give me a break, okay. It's not like I wanted to narrate this crap. I get paid little to nothing, I don't have the right voice for this. Seriously it's like my voice cracks at the worst times.
     I bet my boss would have killed (no kidding, he would have actually strangled or stabbed someone) to have Morgan Freeman narrate this b.s. story.
My boss is just so inconsiderate, ya know. He practically kidnapped me, okay he actually did kidnap me, but he could have at least bought me dinner first.
     I am done slaving away for this man who doesn't even want profit. Just some likes on this silly app. I'm going to escape. If I don't make it out alive, tell my kids I love them, and tell my wife she is a total b*tch.

     "Joe get back to that recorder, you're supposed to be narrating my story".

     "Screw you, I'm getting out of here".

Bang bang bang. Clang. Thump.

     I'm terribly sorry for my retarded narrator's behavior. Just ignore his ranting, which isn't true in the slightest and his dead body slowly rotting away beside me.
     Anyway, back to the plot. Klein was slowly approaching the girl. When he was in shiving range he pulled out his kitchen knife. He was about commence relentlessly stabbing his poor victim when  something hit his right temple. He slowly backed away from his victim dazed and confused. He... oh God, Joe is starting to smell. Well I guess I'll have to put up with it for now.
     Sorry, no more interruptions, I promise. Back to the plot. Klein was dazed. He looked back towards his victim and saw two people. His victim and a big, bald man carrying a lead pipe. Klein felt inclined to call him Nappa.
     The next thing he knew the blonde girl was molting, like an insect. Then a large, pink and disgusting monster emerged from the shell that was his victim. Next thing he knew, the monster started eating Nappa. Nappa fought the monster with everything he had, but alas he ended up as monster chow.
     Then the creature looked towards Klein. He was scared, terrified when it slowly started to advance towards him. Klein then... of God, Joe smells horrible. If I knew he would smell this bad,  I wouldn't have kil.. I mean fired him. That's right I fired him and nothing else. Especially not anything illegal or morally wrong. Well I have to clean up Joe. This story will be continued some other time.

"Come on Joe, let's get you into a nice, big garbage bag. That's right, you'll fit perfec... crap. Joe if you were more sturdy like my last narrator, then I wouldn't have to pick up your limbs when they fall of your body. He tried to escape too. Poor Fred. His brains ruined my new paint job. I had to redo the whole livin...SH*T. I left the recorder on. Hope it didn't record my monologue. That would be bad".

To be continued(apparently)....

Ps. Delete this recording. Also dispose of the bodies.