Let me bite you ·yoonseok·

Chapter 1

*Yoongi's perspective*

I look to my right to see the time on the clock placed on the wall, I've painted it with special paint, so now it glows in the dark. It's currently 3 am and as per usual I can't sleep.

I am such a child when it comes to night-time and the dark. I can't sleep if my wardrobe door or my bedroom door is open, I can't sleep if I don't have my teddy bear with me, I can't sleep if I can't see the stars that glow in the dark glued to the ceiling, I can't fall asleep if I have the lights on, the list goes on and on.

I guess I can say I'm still much like a toddler when it gets dark outside, even knowing I am 20 years old.

That's what my nights were, before a major event occurred. Now I don't even sleep.

The memory of my past lover still stings but not as much as the thought of what happened on my 20th birthday.

What I am now makes me sick, what I have to do to survive makes me want to stab myself until I reach what I desire the most: death, unfortunately stabbing myself to death isn't possible. I've told others about this desire to die and they all told me 'why don't you do it then?' but the truth is I don't want to do it just yet because there might be something good coming.

I guess I'm a little depressed, to be quite honest this is not completely because of my previous lover. It's mostly because of myself, because of who I am, what I did and what I do.

It has been a couple hundred years since it happened but it's still hard for me to control myself.

I know it may make me look fragile but it's hard not to break down when you're fully aware that you're a monster. Just this afternoon when I came home from the public library I broke down, yes the library. I may have eternity ahead of me but I don't want to spend it being stupid.

Just this afternoon as soon as I stepped a foot on my bedroom and closed the door I leaned my petite figure against the door and started crying. I had been home for just a few brief moments and I was already sobbing.

Tears streamed down my face, snot was coming out of my nose, I was now laying on the ground hugging my knees and I felt as lonely as ever.

It's hard to feel alright when I have no friends who I trust enough to tell how bad I've been, when I have no reason to be alive but still I keep going thinking "tomorrow is the day life will get better" but that day never comes.

I've tried to have a lover before, that didn't end up well. My lover as a simple human and he eventually grew old and went to what people call "a better place" and I stayed here once again alone.

Everything reminded me of him, which made everything harder.

When I lost that new lover it didn't hurt as much as when I realized I had lost Jungkook forever. I wanted to replace Jungkook, but he could never be replaced, not then and not in a million years.

It has been normal for me to come home and cry my eyeballs out, but still I have hope that in the future this routine will change.

I'm really sick of hearing my so called friends calling me 'weak' or 'faggot' because they are supposed to be my friends and friends don't mock the others pain, they listen and try to help.

But I've finally realised how to bottle up my feelings, and I don't tell anyone what's going on and how I'm feeling. Even when I'm with Jin, Namjoon and Jimin it's nothing more than a few people who know each other for more than two hundred years hanging out, not sharing much of their personal lives.

Sure, it's not amazing to have no one to share your problems with but still it's better than being insulted and mocked.

Since I don't have to sleep I spend a lot of my time reading manga or the public library's books or watching anime/series and thinking about my life and what I should have or shouldn't have done.

It has been an hour and a half and I'm now much calmer than before. I'm not sobbing anymore but my tears still keep streaming down my face. I need to stop since it's almost time to go out and have a meal.

It's kind of impossible for me to have an extraordinary meal since I'm trying to do this special diet for the past couple of months. I've been trying to live off what lives in the woods and that's making me lose the control I have over myself.

Lazily I get up from the corner of the room in which I was just a couple minutes ago crying like a baby and grab my jacket to head to the woods.

From what I know, I'm the only person who dares to go deep into the woods because it's quite easy to lose yourself there so no one wants to go into that area.

To be honest, in the beginning I was mortified to go in there as well but once I was in I just wanted to go back there. I don't know what makes we want to come back, maybe it's how I feel in there, or maybe it simply is just about the food.

I casually walked past the trees I'm now used to see since I come here every day. Normally there is no one here, but today I can sense someone is in there.

I ignore my sixth sense and continue my walk to my favourite haunting place.

I had no disposition to come here and kill some innocent animals, but if I don't do this I will suffer and then die.

Once I was so desperate and I was feeling so morbid I starved myself for almost a week, of course when Jin found out about it he forced me to ingest something.

I was walking at a very slow pace since hunting has never been one of the activities I was fond of.

It must have been more than 5 minutes of me walking through trees and branches until I finally reach my favourite spot, but there's something different today.

I think I see something, I can't tell if it is a person or just an animal but I instantly became worried.

If a human found out about this place he would surely bring the rest of his kind here and it would be ruined, all the hard work I've put into this small space would have been for nothing.

I built a little house and I spent a lot of time there when all I wanted was to be alone, isolated and far away from society but mostly when I started to lose control when it came to human blood.

I walked in the direction of the shadow I saw a few moments ago and I was praying that it was just an animal. I'm not the type of person who believes in god and all of that but at this moment everything goes.

As I got closer I realised it wasn't an animal, it seemed a human shape but I was still too far away to see a decent shape of the mysterious creature.   

___________

Please comment and vote! ^^