The Deepest Thoughts In My Head

oblivion

You joked today.

Or was it your blood? Was it even a joke?

Because it dug into the deepest depths within my skin and swallowed me whole into an oblivion. An oblivion I call loneliness.

Should I even trust you? I almost unlocked the cage to my heart today, but this situation made it crawl back into another concrete floored cage that it is afraid to come out of.

I already told you, you're my favorite porcelain friend. I haven't told you these feelings I have towards you at all...because i'm petrified of letting more than the closest, cleanest, souls I know of, into my treehouse of secrets.

I'm so sure, so sure, so sure.....sure? I don't understand my native tongue anymore. You make me so confused. You make me happy. You make me feel lonely. You made me feel irritated. You make me feel things I'd never thought have existed, yet you're so far away.

Even after I told you the truth. The truth of me being scared of letting anyone in. The truth that I feel as if I rubbed two rocks together in the cold winter and the spark of warm light slowly started to shine in the freezing, snow covered forest. That small glimmer of hope.

You know the abandonment has took its toll on my heart, and if it happens against I just might break, Like the porcelain dolls foot I dropped when I was just a child.

Please hold onto my rugged, tired hands, and don't let me fall over the cliff, into the oblivion I call complete, and utter loneliness.

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I'm slowly cracking...

-imaginations stoned.