Even the air tasted grey. Fog seemed to cover the town like a funeral shroud, with a hint of rain about to burst from the heavens. Christmas lights flashed, juxtaposed against the grey walls, road, sky and now the air of the town.
Head down to protect him from the cold threatening to skin him alive, a young man attempted to walk along the pavement, occasionally kicking small stones that went skidding off into the road as cars jogged by. Their fumes only added to the fog and the colour of everything. Vision slightly blurred, the young man tried to get his bearings, but the only visible objects further than three metres away were the flashing lights, pulsing bright.
"It's like a lighthouse." His voice was muffled through his coat as he tried to not freeze in the December air. "Warning people to stay away." But yet he aimed towards them, drawn like a moth towards a flame.
As soon as the fog started to thin, the music hit him. Each and every shop playing their own rendition of jingle bells or rocking around the Christmas tree. Fumbling for his headphones, the young man plugged his ears and tried not to listen to the crescendo of clashing smiles and bells.
Like the lights shining in the fog, he felt out of place among everyone else. People scurried around like ants preparing for the harsh months ahead. Kids screamed at toy displays; mothers attempted to hush their children whilst looking longingly at the displays in the shops opposite; teenagers sat in their friendship groups whilst synchronised sipping of their matching Christmas coffee cups. Each and everyone having a purpose. A reason for being there.
The young man pushed his brown hair to the side of his face and determinedly walked down the street, weaving in and out of the army of people attempting to finish their Christmas shopping early.
"Season of joy," he said, as he passed yet another screaming child. "Yeah right. And I'm the Queen of England."
Shoving his hands back into his pockets, he tried to not dwell on the past. Flashes of himself and another ghostly figure sitting on benches and standing in coffee shops kept appearing. Every feature on the side of the road seemed to spark an unwanted memory.
"I love you." The ghostly figure seemed to whisper every time the young man walked past them, but he tried to convince himself that it was the trees waving from side to side in the frosty breeze.
"Don't need these memories right now thank you," he confidently told the inside of his coat, trying to stop his breath from appearing in front of his face, hanging there for mere milliseconds before floating away to join the rest of the fog. "Not today please."
Rounding a corner, he stopped dead. The ghostly figure was standing there, transparent and almost blending in with the fog shrouding the town. His arms were outstretched and each ghostly finger seemed to be beckoning the young man closer.
"Don't be alone this Christmas." Its voice was soft, like the rustling of leaves or the gentle breeze. "I love you."
"I am not joining you this Christmas." The brown hair was swept again out of his eyes as the young man stood there, defiantly. "I may never love again, but at least I never left you. At least I didn't kill myself to get away from my boyfriend. On boxing Day!"
"You alright sonny?" An old man hobbled along next to him, breaking up the misty figure of the young man's imagination.
"Yeah, sorry. Just imagining things." But inwardly he started to cry at the sight of his ex. Don't cry, Daniel. You're normally just the shoulder to cry on. Don't need to find one for you to cry on. Be strong. Try to forget about it. And he shoved his hands back deeper into his pockets, determined to not let a single tear escape from his eye.
YOU ARE READING
The Christmas Squareflake (Phan AU)
Fanfiction"I'm sorry, I didn't see you there!" the blue eyed man said, with a hand reached out to the young man on the floor. "Well, maybe you should look where you are going next time." The brown hair was dusted back into position, and the man helped himsel...
