Wife of Vladimir ||Book One||

Her Wish

"I waited until the following evening to approach Rosetta on the issue. I thought it was best she was calm before I presented the options to her. I didn't have a backup, therefore I wasn't able to face rejection. I didn't wait to fail her. I wanted her problems to disappear. I scolded myself for not searching harder, feeling as though if I would have pushed myself I might have found those answers I was long looking for.

The more I slept on the idea, the more uncertain of it I became. Rosetta and I were young, her especially. She hadn't even had her eighteen birthday yet, the event still months away. It would be difficult to convince her. I could already imagine her pacing the floors as she tried to debate whether it would really improve our situation or not.

At the very least, Rosetta would see that I was trying to fix her loneliness. I wanted to take the grief away from her. Even if she didn't like the idea, she couldn't say that I hadn't tried.

Another concern that I had more for myself than Rosetta was knowing that I wouldn't just be distant to Rosetta if we went ahead with my idea, but I'd be distant to our child too. For the first few years, it was likely I wouldn't matter in their life. How could I? I wouldn't be able to be around them throughout the day, only there for them during the night where they mostly slept. I tried to imagine what Rosetta would tell them if they asked about their father.

You'll understand one day when you're older, my love.

How pathetic of a reply was that? How would I be able to face my child confidently knowing that I was hardly around in their life? Would that harbor hatred? I determined that I wanted to be the best father possible. I'd force myself into their life, whether that meant being exhausted or risking being exposed in the sunlight. I couldn't abandon them and Rosetta like that. It was hard to attempt to think of every possible solution to a nonexistent event, causing it to swirl around my head until my mind became numb. No matter what happened, I would never be able to change what I had become.

For the first time, I began understanding why my father hadn't exposed himself nor myself to this life. It was too hard to make this monster work with the schedules of humans. Had my father transformed, I might have been completely on my own as I grew up.

I exited my cave a few hours earlier than normal, my mind completely consumed with Rosetta. The night before had been tough between us. I hadn't dared come out of my lair when morning arrived, too worried that her wrath would have been intensified.

As I stepped into the bedroom, I was met by Rosetta's teary eyes. I hadn't been too surprised, as I could sense her heart quickly beating as my footsteps sounded from the stairs, but I hadn't been expecting her eyes to be locked on me so soon.

She was sitting still upon our bed in her nightgown, her hair neatly braided back. It hung over her shoulder, the bottom disappearing behind folded arms. It had grown longer since we had been together. The covers were barely touched from that morning, her book resting on the nightstand exactly how it had been the past few nights. Without meaning to, I was able to focus upon the small details upon her face.

There were dark circles beneath her eyes that had me wondering if she had slept, but I was able to answer my own question. While below in my cave, I had sensed the pattern of her heartbeat slow down as she fell asleep. Maybe she hadn't slept well, but she had absolutely slept. The skin surrounding her eyes was red and puffy, streaks from where she'd been crying.

My heart tightened as it weighed upon me that I was the one that had made her feel like this. There was no denying or hiding from it. I had to face what I had made her feel.

'Rosetta, may I say a few words?' I slowly approached her upon the bed, not wanting to upset her and send her away again like I had the night before. I wanted to take this carefully, to make our first argument end carefully and gently. I wanted her forgiveness.