Him. My first love. First real kiss. My nigga. A1. Rider.
I can call him all those things but could he call me those?
Been in love with him since 7th grade and 3 years later still stuck on him.
I would drop any nigga for him, but would he drop a bitch for me?
Why? Why he break my heart yet again said I'm his one.
All the lies that comes from his mouth, I can't take it anymore.
Trying to move on but every past male I've been with isn't HIM.
He called, said he wanted to meet up with me.
I told him I couldn't with a attitude.
He didn't like that and we got into a argument.
He hung up in my face, it broke my heart.
I texted him some hours later and told him I couldn't do this anymore. He said he need a better explanation. I told him I couldn't be stuck on him anymore. He text ig and didn't text back after I texted him.
20 minutes later and my phone rings.
HIM is calling.
I debate in my head to answer and I did.
He wanted to know why I had said those things earlier.
He asked is it because we been talking for 3 years and haven't went back out?
I said yes.....
He said he would've asked me out if I came to see him more often.
But it doesn't work like that when you're only a teen.
I didn't have a response to him.
We sat in silence for a couple of minutes before he asked....
So, this is it? You don't want to talk anymore?
I answered I don't know in a small voice, my emotions started to get the best of me.
I started to wonder if he could hear me walking around nervously, hear my heart beat through the phone. But I really wonder if he could here the tears and emotion in my voice.
He asked over and over again and I couldn't answer.
I told him I would call him back later and give him his answer. We hung up.
I then went back to my room to listen to Rihanna's album anti.
The song love on the brain made me burst into tears.
I realized no matter what I couldn't let him go but my mind was saying something different than my heart.
A couple of hours later and I still haven't called him back, not sureof what to say.
But I can say to myself..... I do love him.
