A Blooming Love

please kindly fucking fuck off you fucktard

"W-wait, Phil! No!"

Dan burst into giggles as Phil tickled his sides behind him.

"I'm trying to make a bouquet! Stoppp"

They exploded into a fit of giggles; tears in their eyes and laughter coming out of their mouths.

"You are the worst boyfriend ever, Phil"
"You know you don't mean that", he said with a smirk and leaned in to kiss Dan.

Before their lips could meet, the shop door shot open.

"How do I passive-aggressively say fuck you in flower?"

Dan and Phil, faces still a few centimeters apart, stared at the man who had just walked into the shop. "P-pardon?", Dan asked.
"You know how light pink shows romance and yellow shows friendship or whatever? Well, I want to say 'fuck you'"
"Wh-what's the occasion?", Dan nervously questioned.
"Oh you know just my friend deciding to be a dick all of a sudden and fucking ignoring me for a week. Nothing much", he said through gritted teeth.
"Oh. I see so um 'fuck you', you said?"
"Yes"
"Well, I think for yourself you need some irises"
"Why's that?"
"Because they represent serenity and you need to calm the fuck down"

The man stared at Dan for a minute and laughed. "Aw man. Savage af"
"Okay, listen: narcissus flowers. The Victorians considered it an egoist's flower. And I know that doesn't necessarily scream 'fuck you', but it's the closest"
"Fine. I'll take it"
"You could also show 'farewell' by dark velvet roses"
"I don't exactly want to say farewell"
"Yeah, then that's all I know about negative flowers. So, a bouquet of narcissuses?"
"Cool. Thanks, man"

Dan went to the back room to get the flowers and left Phil awkwardly standing in front of the man. "So uh what's your name?"
"Chris. You?"
"I'm Phil! It's nice to meet you"
"You too! Sorry for barging in on... what you were doing"

Phil paused for a second, remembering what Dan and him were doing before. "O-oh", he said, red creeping up his cheeks. "That"
"Yeah, I didn't mean to. At least you have a boyfriend though"
"Oh, you single?"
"Yeah. It kinda sucks"
"Nah you'll find someone, I'm sure."
"I just really don't know right now. Nobody seems to like me and there's the slight struggle that I lean more towards men"
"Hey, don't let that be an issue! Even I, the awkwardest person on this planet, found someone as lovely as him"

He looked to the back of the store to see Dan picking out flowers. His eyes were filled with love and admiration for him. He couldn't tear them away.

"Um, you okay?", Chris asked.
"Oh! Uh yeah, sorry"

Then Dan had finally come back with the made bouquet. "Would you like a card with it?"
"Yeah, sure"
"What do you want on it?"
"Make it say-", he paused for a moment to think.

After a split second, he had decided.

"Make it say 'please kindly fucking fuck off, you fucktard Pj'"