Waking up to gunshots
Teargas ringing
The smell of screams in the airRight outside my window
Right by my doorstep
Right next to meAs if it is a replacement alarm clock
Actually having to acknowledge that this is my new normal
That I am unresourcedUnable to help those who are screaming for it
Right outside
By the doorThough I am not unwilling
Closer
That this has always been someone's normal
Closer
As if it is normal
CloserYet the system they want us to return to is one of ugliness, one of quiet torture
Endured silently
A burden raised by the tears of Black mothers
Black fathers
Black youth
Black bodiesA burden dressed in privilege
I was so unaware
I have unlearned so muchA burden dressed in privilege
As if it is normal
Closer
And the image that best represents it, is labelled with a PriceCloser
A Price we shall no longer pay
Closer
A Price we violently refuse
CloserI know nothing
I have unlearned so much
Quietly the warmth of black consciousness embraced me
And voiced"I am here"