Guilty Pleasures - A Sherlock Romance

It was the morning of the funeral, the air seemed somewhat thick and the time on Baker Street definitely seemed to slow till it halted to what felt like years. At least it seemed so to Sherlock.

Today was the death of the only person he ever had the privilege to call friend; John Watson was the first person who had managed to penetrate the notorious detective’s steel walls. Looking back Sherlock could see that John was the only one who had ever even made an attempt to do so after his parent’s tedious attempts to get him to “open up” when he was an adolescent.

The thick air seemed to get even worse once Sherlock was standing above his beloved bloggers body; “blogger” Sherlock scoffed at his own inner monologue for Sherlock knew exactly what John really was to him. He wasn’t just a simple blogger, no if he was just a blogger he would have been just one of Sherlock’s many pawns in the game of deduction and life. No, John wasn’t simply Sherlock’s blogger, he was his friend… his, “boyfriend”- it was the only word Sherlock had spoken since the fateful evening that his boyfriend had died.

The relationship had started a few years ago, 2 precisely. John and Sherlock had been friends for a year by then, they had solved several cases together if not hundreds. They knew everything about one another, although there had been one secret John had been able to keep from his beloved Sherlock; and Sherlock knew this but didn’t ever question it out of fear of John pushing him away like he did those many months previous to them arguing about Sherlock’s drug habit. The day that Sherlock was given his ultimatum, drugs or John was definitely the day which changed their relationship forever.

Of course the answer was obvious and it was easy for Sherlock to pick, however choosing to do something and attempting to do it were two entirely different things. The time of detox was stressful and painful for Sherlock but his faithful friend helped him through it, the memories of this only added insult to injury at this point. Remembering John as he truly was was more painful than attempting to forget, but Sherlock refused to forget him. He never would so there was no reason to even humour such an absurd idea.

Sherlock had the overwhelming urge to double over in tears, the ache in his chest that he experienced whilst looking over his dead “friend” almost made him. However, Sherlock remained strong and forced himself to behave in his usual sociopathic manner. There was no reason to show a severe weakness whilst Moriarity was still about, it could end in severe consequences for John’s family in future.

After an hour of simply staring down at the man he once… the man he still loved Sherlock wiped a single tear from his cheek and rose his head looking around. It had been hours since the funeral had ended, everyone had left. Even John’s family were on their way home, surely to grieve their lost son and brother in solitude. The thought of them leaving so soon however, only fuelled the rage Sherlock could feel in the pit of his stomache.

Anger at the illness that took his beloved, anger himself for not being able to help John, but most of all the anger towards John’s family for vanishing so quickly- “For Christ sake it’s as if they all would prefer to run home to catch a cup of camomile tea and grab the newspaper than rather mourn over him!” Sherlock exclaimed in anger as he propelled his fist into the nearby tree trunk.

Suddenly, Sherlock heard a gentle noise. It wasn’t a scream but he could definitely hear the fear from the exhale. A gasp from an over seer possibly, but Sherlock was sure that he was alone, he made sure to listen closely to all the noises around him. The only person who could ever trick Sherlock’s ears were John, this was near impossible!

Sherlock regrettably peered down at a young woman, possibly the age of 17, only a few years younger than Sherlock himself. The girl seemed to be holding a single Lilly in her hands, John’s favourite flower, had she waited to mourn over John by herself? “Finally!” Sherlock thought to himself, “somebody whom actually cares in this God for saking city!”