"I wake up fine and dandy, but then I find it handy to rip apart my heart apart and start planning my crash landing." - ToP
I always seem to just wake up on the wrong side and my lungs and chest hurt from doing so. I always seem to just wake up and realize that I did it again, and I go through the day with this nagging pain under my breast, right in the middle of my rib cage.
It's another day in the week, another day in the month, another day in the year with no change whatsoever. The sun rises, the moon falls, it's a difference in the weather and sometimes it's cold and sometimes its burning hot. I never feel comfortable.
I get dressed, discarding my view of what I look like down the bathroom sink as I brush my teeth until my gums bleed. The cold water drags the blood down the drain and maybe the rest of my thoughts as I close my eyes to brush my hair and exit the bathroom, however still feeling the thriving pain in my chest, this time traveling it's way up to my brain and finding solace right in my center of gravity.
I skip breakfast like I skip saying I love you to my parents because I'd rather starve than risk a lie. My favorite part about the entire day is walking alone in the dead of the morning when I can inhale the faded smell of nicotine from my neighbor's cigarette and reflect on last night's conversation with the moon. The bus ride was always noisy, which was always when I would drown out the nonsense like the way I ignore my parent's lectures; music.
I like to daydream about the future, my eyes fixed on absolutely nothing in particular, yet imagining and still thinking about what you could be doing at this given moment.
I go through everyday as if I finishing a glass of water, only my lips are still chapped and my throat burns of what I should've said, and the regret still lingering on my tongue. At the end of the day, I slam my nose in a book or get my mind stuck in another phase of writer's block. I swear every time I sit in the deepness of the silence, I promise myself that tomorrow, is not really tomorrow. And if you look at the moon between the trees, you can never really see it.
