The Love I Couldn't Keep

1. Sara

She was the girl that accepted love too easily. Once she was shown one ounce of affection, she was hooked. She treated love like a drug, and in some ways, I guess it is. You get introduced to the idea, you think about it, and you try it out because why not? You only have one life to live. Then, when you get a dose your life changes, you can't think straight, and you don't think you can live without love. Without this drug. And for a while, you think it's ok. That if it makes you feel happy, why would you stop?
Sara was addicted to love. So much so, that she couldn't limit her affection to one person at a time. She was offered more than she gave, and she couldn't have been more happy. While we were together, holding hands and giving each other kisses, she was also secretly with two other people. And they were holding her hands and giving her kisses. She was passing herself around, with no self-control. She would tell me that she loves me, and I believed her because I didn't think that she would be saying those exact words to someone else. I didn't think that she would look at anyone else like that with her sharp gray eyes. I didn't think that anyone else had the privilege of running their hands through her soft blonde hair. I would take her to restaurants and ice rinks, carnivals and parks, ice cream parlors and beaches.
Once I found out, I stupidly didn't abandon the relationship like I should have. Because Sara herself was a drug and I couldn't get enough of her. Soon, it became a competition to which lover could keep her. And Sara loved it. But I loved Sara so I remained oblivious to her manipulation. Sara did not love me. She did not love the others. Sara loved being held. She loved the peppered kisses on her forehead. She loved the idea of having a soulmate. But she did not love me. She never did.

Sara taught me that you can't always believe in someone, because oftentimes you're really just believing in the decisions you think they'll make, but have never done before.