Dear Ryan,
I'm sorry.
Please forgive me.
I was young and naive, I didn't know what was right and wrong. I didn't know what love was, I don't even know now. It felt like love. So I will call it love. I was an idiot calling you Ryan, when you wanted me to call you Jay. I know I shouldn't have even tried to look you up. I didn't think you were real. I didn't believe you. You only wanted to protect your real identity. That was my first mistake. We met that day at the mall remember? You told me to stop but after a few months I did it again. That was my Second mistake. Surely only you would remember what you told me. If you don't, I'm not going to remind you. It's better you don't. But those two mistakes is what led to our breakup. And that's what I'm apologising for. But let's get to the main point of my letter. Why I loved you. Ryan you were my first. First Love, First Kiss, First Boyfriend, First Date. I loved the beach moments with you. How I acted childish and you didn't seem to care. I was younger than you by one year and yet you still accepted me. I didn't know any better neither did you. We hadn't had the best relationship, but it felt magical. The days when I was there with was the best. I loved the way your hair flows and blinds your eye. How you struggle to put it back where it was. The way you smiled when your food arrived. I loved that you didn't care that I was messy. You tried to make the long distance days work. Even though it didn't at the end. You texted me every night, with the lyrics to song I loved. You knew Every song that I sent you. And how you reply back the following lyrics. I hated the fights, but I loved the makeup. I love how you care for your sister. And you spend your days singing and playing the guitar. There was lots I loved about you. But I sorta wished I didn't love that much. After we first broke up. I spent my days listening to same sad song over and over again. And when you texted you wanted me back, it made my day light up. We both knew that First love, isn't going to be the last love. So the day came where we stopped everything. Everything went fine afterwards, and I'm happy for that.
So, this is the moment of truth.
My love for you had stopped.
I am now completely over you.
さようなら,
S.
