Love That Could Last Forever [BoyxBoy]

Pouring Salt Into An Open Wound

My plan took a little longer in planning then I expected...Well, a lot longer. Like...Three months longer. Even through all that, following Jack's every move and trying to get inside his head. I still didn't learn much.

And in those three, long, months. I haven't talked to Angry Eyes. Not at all.

And well...It was killing me. I don't know which was worse though, that he didn't like me or that he doesn't even care we haven't talked. But one thing was for sure, it was making me become depressed. The only people I ever talk to now are Tara, Joseph and Logan. I won't go anywhere either, I come straight home after school, well, after I follow Jack I mean.

I'm also getting really skinny too, because I don't eat much anymore. It was scaring Logan, and to make his nagging parent side happy, I would eat a little in front of him to show that I have been eating. Not much, but hey, it's better then not eating at all.

At least in my case it was. If I didn't have Logan nagging me all the time, I would still be a heartbroken mess.

I was still heartbroken, don't get me wrong, it still hurts like hell when I see Angry Eyes and Jack the ass together, but I wasn't as bad as before...I wasreally bad the first month.

"J-James what are you doing?" I heard Logan exclaim loudly, as I continued to drunkenly ravish his neck in sloppy kisses. I wanted to forget. And Logan was the one I wanted to forget everything with. Even if he is inexperienced.

"Shhhut up Logie. It will feeeel good soon." I slurred out between the kisses I placing on his neck, up it, and to his jawline, as I continued to thrush my hips into his. I wasn't in my right mind, hell, I haven't been in my right mind in a while. This heartbreak hurt worse then what happened with Alexander. And that was saying something all on it's own. Because that hurt, and scarred me for forever.

"J-James...No! Your drunk!" He yelled at me, trying to push me away. But I wasn't having it, I wanted to forget the pain for one damn day. Was that too much to ask for? It wasn't for me. But I guess it was for him...

"Sooo?" I mumbled out, finally looking up at him with gazed over eyes. I was smashed. I haven't been this drunk in a long, long time.

"SO? James, we're friends. This w-would ruin everything...For me and you." He may of stuttered over a few words, and his face may of been bright red, but I could tell he was telling the truth from the determination shining in his eyes. I may be drunk, as drunk as one person could get, but I was two hundred years old, I knew better then to do something that would ruin my friendship with Logan.

So I pulled away, mumbling a quiet "Sorry", and I made my way back to the bed Logan had beside his. I knew the guilt would eat me in the morning.

I still feel the guilt wash over me every time I think about it. I almost raped Logan, the one I love like a brother and a best friend. I'm surprised he forgave me for that. I know I was drunk, but that was no excuse to...Go that far. I swore off drinking after that. Forever.

But I didn't have much more time to dwell on it, because I then heard Logan call out to me from the pool in his backyard. Thank god it was heated. Because it would be no fun to use during this time of year.

"James! Come here!"

"I'm coming!" I called back, wasting no time as I made my way from where I currently was, which was the Mitchell's huge library, down the stairs to the living room, where I made my way to the backyard. Once I was outside, I looked out, to see Logan standing next to someone that made my heart drop in my stomach.