The Followings of a Red Beret

Alone Together

The haunting monotone sound of the dial-tone echoed endlessly throughout my mind. Clumsily, I placed the telephone back into it's reciever. I staggered to my feet, swaying a bit as if drunk to my bed. My bed moaned as I collapsed heavily onto it, staring at the lavender walls of the room from my side through my messy mop auburn hair. 

"I never even got to say 'goodbye'..." I murmured wholeheartedly, flitting my gaze over to the stuffed bear from my childhood who sat at the corner of my bed. Clutching Fuzzy close to my heart, I reached my hand out to trace shapes with the tip of my index finger onto the cool laminated wall in order to calm myself. 

Clear droplets of liquid glass gathered at my amber orbs and I quickly wiped them away with my arm, only to feel more on their way. The person that means the most to me is sick and so far away... All alone. The idea was too hard to bear. If only I hadn't left, I thought to myself.

Although it has been years since I last saw my dear friend and savior Elise, I could never forget both her kindness and her cruelty. Nonetheless, I could never blame her for her acts of abuse, she was just so confused and misguided... just like I once was. Except she was there for me, guided me through, and showed me the path to a new life.

"A-Ahh," I whimpered, curling up into a ball and turning over, still clinging to my bear, "I-I'm sorry, Elise. I'm not able to help you... I'm too helpless."

I felt so sad. I didn't want to do anything. More like I couldn't do anything. I supposed that lying on bed long enough would eventually bring comfort and sleep. But the longer I laid there, the more sleep evaded me.

Neurons fired in my brain and I suddenly sat up, hair still a mess. I jumped off my bed and rushed over to the little calendar that was my own Christmas present to myself the previous year. Scanning through the dates, I saw that it was nearing the end of January. As I recall, Elise's birthday is in the beginning of February...

Swiftly, I slipped on shoes and wrapped a scarf messily around my neck before bursting out the front door of my apartment. 

By the time I had returned, the sun had already set past the horizon, emitting a reddish light across the room. The tip of my nose was light pink from the cold and my breath came out ragged. I spilled the contents of my shopping bag out on my tiny desk and switched on the desk lamp. It's light flickered on so valiantly, trying to expel the darkness. But the weak luminosity of the light expanded only to the edges of the desk before getting lost completely within a world of darkness. 

Regardless, I quickly tore through the packaging of the perfect birthday card I spent so long picking out for Elise. It had a simple design but it was made with the highest quality paper. Striped like a candy cane, the card also had a cute little felt beret on the cover. Of course, it was red, just like Elise's. I smiled and admired the card for a while before continuing my quest of writing a happy birthday card for Elise.

Gently folding the crisp, delicate binding of the new card, I took out the fountain pen I purchased along with the card. Popping off the cap of the pen with ease, I proceeded to dip the pen in the new bottle of crimson ink. 

Before staining the card, I thought it was only right to test out the pen before writing on something so important. Like red velvet, the ink flowed out smoothly and perfectly with the nib of the pen. Satisfied, I lifted it and pressed it down on to the surface of the card. The nib pressed into the paper and as I moved it, a trail of brilliant, crimson ink was left behind. Sinking deeper into the fibers of the paper, the redness seemed to resemble blood rather than ink. A sight that was all but too familiar.

****

"Mother, are you alright?" I had inquired seemingly eons ago. The tired woman I was addressing gave a weak smile and placed her hand on my auburn hair and ruffled it.