September's Snowflake

Chapter One

 
Zinnia looked around the trashed apartment she called a home while taking another swig of her soda sighing.

Usually she would never let it get this bad. 

Especially with her peeve of food cartons from a week ago still on the counter but there they were. Then again she has been always trying to stay busy with work then go to an empty apartment. When she was here it was to sleep and eat. Barely hanging onto the words home as she felt no peace in the confining walls trapping her here with memories.

          She knew he was gay knew it would never workout but her heart was crewel and dumb. Even when she tried to put off the feelings. I mean every girl likes eye candy don't they? Thats right just a hottie to past the time. Right?

..No. 

She could try to be rational but she could not ignore it for long. It was the way he made her feel. How her heart was beating and she felt truly warm. A warmth that did not freeze over with time of getting to know him and ignore the annoying ass he was. Now with him striped away from her by Jax's own choice....... she has never felt so alone as if trapped in the tundra of the north.

  Zinnia started to grab chemicals, bags and any other nesicary supplies to make the apartment at least appear as if she is doing well. She did not want to hear another lecture on how he wouldn't want her to act in morning.

Like it changes anything. Last time being told she scoffed and remarked if he cared he wouldn't of left.

  Yah that's right he wouldn't of left.

"Was life that bad that you couldn't keep living and abandon your promise to me!" Zinnia yelled into the empty apartment. She expected no answer as tears prick her eyes. Getting up quickly while fighting the tears she picked a shattered photo from the ground.

             That damn asshole of a boyfriend went on a rampage and smashed all of the meaningful things Jax had ever given her.

Jax.....

No that's it she determined no more crying  its his fault. He did this to you. Don't cry. He left you. Domething clicked in her mind as grief became blaming him for it all.

She hated him.

He promised to be there for her until the day she died but instead he left her alone in this hell. Where she had to pick up the broken pieces he promised to fix.

  Where was he now? Did she even believe in the after life. Was he safe? Should she even care? 
Giving up she grabs her keys and storm out of the house.  Muttering " I need a coffee." under her breath leaving Jax crying and begging on the sofa not seen.

The summer sun caressed her skin as she jogged into her Blue Honda. Never in her life has summer been dreary. Then again not many people think of spring and death.

The old beat up car was bought only a few weeks after the trauma, it was a last minute i need a change sort of thing buuuuut  of course a lot of things changed to keep the memories at bay.

Zennia even went to changing her address to make the girl who Jax knew nonexistent. The workaholic found one way or another to create peace in her wallpapered world.

Pulling up to her favorite coffee shop she checked to see if her face did not show the steaks of tears that were lingering only moments ago. Sighing and putting on a strong cold hearted face she slammed  the cars door as if to beak it she trudged into the little den.

The shop has been there since she can remember and the smells that wafted out of the two classic windows made her melt into the bitter warm caramel caress. 

Looking broken from the outside would not give justice to Glenda's. The inside had beautiful chestnut wood with warm colors. The best way of explaining the feel of the cosy shop to a stranger for Zinnia was a little kitten laying beside a crackling fire.  A slight smile graced Zinnias lips as she heard the bell chime and Glenda"s voice call out from the back.

The sassy woman became one of comfort and good conversation over the years; even when an argument was apparent. Glenda took a seat she gave Zinnia a glance she knew to well. Cradling the cup she was just handed she began to take sips. Her cold blooded body began to warm up and with that came a less hostile personality. 

Glenda was silent as zinnia finished her coffee. As the last sip bounced threw out the coffee shop Glenda made her move. "Honey, when are you going to admit that you miss him and it hurts?" A glare was sent her way as Glenda kept speaking. "Are you going to live your life just hating the world? people miss you, do you not care?" That's when zinnia grabbed her things she was packing and stood up. Glancing over her shoulder she responded "well if I'm going to try and hate the world my first step should be hating people right? Have a good day Glenda, but next time, shut your damn mouth."