Loving Her (GirlXGirl)

Chapter 14: "?"

Naomi~

So what are you gonna say at my funeral now that you have killed me? Here lies the body of the love of my life who's heart I broke without a gun to my head...
-Beyoncé

To say I didn't miss Ashanti was a lie but every time she dropped by my house she seemed to be getting worse. I tried getting her into rehab but she just left the facility a day later so that was money wasted.

I was still faithfully taking care of Egypt and she became the little sister I never had. She kept hoping that Ashanti would get better but I told her to just focus on keeping the baby healthy.

Miranda and I have been out on a couple of dates and she's the sweetest person in the entire world. With our dates I found out she's a doctor, no kids, never been married, and has a serious love for adventure. Her aśs was always taking me somewhere new and I enjoyed every second of it.

"Egypt?" My doctor called, Egypt and I rose to follow him. Egypt had the best of everything, I made sure to get her the best doctor for this bundle of joy. She was a great girl and now excited to be an even better mother. I gave her a car, brand new clothes, and anything else her heart desired.

The doctor started to put this jelly on her stomach to do an ultra sound.

"Ok here's the head... here's its little feet... and it looks like you're having.... a boy!" Egypt squealed

"Yes yes yes! I sooo wanted a boy." I smiled so hard and laughed, now we knew what color to paint the nursery.

Egypt got dressed and we finished up at the doctors, as we were walking to the car she asked an unexpected question.

"Do you miss her?" I sighed and unlocked my car door.

"Everyday but I can't help her.." I slid into the car and started it up.

"Look baby girl, I loved your sister very very much. But I've tried everything at this point she's got to want to help herself." Egypt started to cry.

"I should have stopped it, I should have made her stay away from that girl." I pulled her into a hug and rubbed her back to calm her down.

"It wasn't your fault Egypt it's okay.. You can't blame yourself for other people's actions even if she is your sister." She nodded and I let her go.. "you'll always have me baby girl."

Ashanti ~

I, I, I left no time to regret
Kept my dick wet with that same old bet
Oooh and you
You and your head high
And your tears dry
Get on without your guy
And I, I, I went back to what I knew
So far removed from all we been through
And you, and you, and you, you tread a troubled track
Your odds are always stacked
You'll go back to black

I sat on the couch strung out and bobbing my head to the music, I looked over and watched a couple have séx on the marble counter top in front of everyone, after a couple of minutes another girl joined in.

I laughed and looked around for Simone she went to the bathroom fifteen minutes ago, what could be taking her so long. I slowly lifted myself off the couch and staggered towards the bathroom.

We only said goodbye with words
I know a hundred times

The closer I got to the bathroom door the louder the moans became... nah that couldn't be Simone.

I opened the door and was immediately sick to my stomach.

"Oooo fúck baby right there." He pushed his díck deeper inside of Simone as she was bent over the bathroom counter.. she was so into it she didn't even notice me open the door.

"You cheating bítch." I screamed, Simone casually looked over at me while he was still pounding into her.

"Join us baby" she moaned.

She reached her arm out for me and I slowly backed away shaking my head, tears were forming in my eyes.

I ran out of the club and ran across the street almost getting hit by ongoing traffic.

I started crying and walking, I was out of my mind. My life shouldn't be this way.

I, I loved you much
It's not enough
I love blow and you love puff
And life, is like a pipe
And I'm a tiny penny rolling up the walls inside

I started wondering down the dark streets of Atlanta with no destination in mind.

"Aye ma, how much for some pussy?" I ignored him and kept walking

"Oh you one of them deaf hoes?" I stayed silent "Alright fúck you then bítch you look strung out anyway."

We only said goodbye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to her and I go back too
We only said goodbye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to her

I sat on a bus stop bunch and laid down. My feet were aching and my head was pounding.. I dosed off looking at the dark sky.

And I go back too, I go back to black

~

I woke up to the sun in my eyes and an elderly woman sitting next to me. She looked at me and shook her head.

"I wish you Black queens really valued yourselves." She said aloud. I looked at my phone and saw it was 6:00 am.

"I wish I valued myself too.." I said back. I slowly stood up and walked into buckhead's rehabilitation center.

"Well aren't we glad to see you again" the lady at the front desk said. "Are you really ready to commit this time Ashanti?" I nodded. "Okay let's go. "

I walked to the back with her.. guess I'm really going to stick through rehab this time.