Miss Peregrines DANK home for DANK kids yo

birb moms house for perkyooliahr bois

"ay yo kid" grandaddy tucked me in bed "imma tell u a story bout this house in europe. whats europe? eh just some place that exists. no not like canada lol. btw this house was dank i mean there was this murderer kid, he was the necromancer. also an airplane person, shes the one with the buff girl. the buff girl was also with this girl who ate from her scalp. how did she not eat her hair i srsly dont know. there was also that one fancy bitch. i swear hes gay 100% homo. everyone thinks hes gay for the necromancer but eh. then there was the one who i didnt notice was there until my third week there. i mean i thought he was a random voice from floating clothes idk man. and there was barry the bee and the plant girl. i think bee boi used my computer for tumblr once. that asshole. and there was this hot girl she set everything on fire and we dated for like the entire time i think she dumped me by now."

and i thought he was legit for like 10 yrs. then i was 16 (of course the stereotypical teen age) and he died in the middle of the forest and he was liek "boi go to the loop september 3 1940 bla bla bla" and i was like what the shit okay i dont understand but ok. then i got this book with this letter and my mom let me and daddy go to kernhom in wels. then i went to the grave of teh first person and when i got out this hot girl was like "show my ur eyes or u ll get fukcin mmurked" then she and this invisible hottie took me to this place which i was pretty sure was rekt an hour ago. then there was the necromancer and the plant girl and bla bla bla and then i met the mom of all of them. "hi im miss peregrine" she said. "hi my granddad died" i said. then she opened the door and em was cringing. "HOW DARE YOU TALK ABOUT ABE IN UR STUPD TEEN VOICE" she said and ran away.

and then there was the rll confusing shit. like we went swimming and someone was arrested for killing sheep and a rotten apple and beeboi going on tumblr on my computer (hugh i stg) then i went to birb mom and said "grandad was killed by tentacle sama" and she was like"thats not tentacle sama thats a holo" then i was like holy shiet im perkyooliahr too.

then we went and killed a holo w a wool cutter and my mind doctor is after me and he has a gun and birb mom and other birb mom. so i shot him. and he also shot invisible boi. and we went back to the house but oh no it s broken and prophecy boi was like "theres a place"and we took some boats and left. also em and i were dating