My Dear, Deer (EXO-M Luhan Fan-Fiction)

     My dear, it's been so long since you've left; I've lost track of the days, to be honest. Winter seems colder without you; the thin veil of snow outside slowly growing thicker and thicker is an honest indication. Perhaps these days wouldn't be so bitter if you had told me you were going to leave rather than it come to be a surprise for your absence is icier knowing nothing rather than being given a reason as to why you and your heart decided to leave me. I could say it's "better this way," but I would be fooling nobody else but myself.

     Gazing at the view outside, the feather-esque flakes settle onto Earth's bed gently; nestling into the dirt tightly and securely as they take a pause from life. The mug exudes warmth as well as the wool blanket wrapped around my shoulders. The house, however, is frigid; barren and silent. There is nothing cordial about this house any more and it's because of you, my dear, as to why my heart has turned icy like the ground outside; my soul colder than winter's core.

     Cue the snapping of twigs as the antlers of a deer appear in the distance; the full body of the deer completely visible now as he stares at me with his piercing black eyes. Those eyes, though, despite them being worn on a mere deer possess a sense of familiarity to me. The way they can pierce the soul so easily, yet still captivate you by the mysteriousness and gentleness embedded within that complex stare; it's truly magnificent. This isn't the first time I've seen this deer, either. Around the time---he---had abandoned me was when the deer first appeared. I remember the night, actually:

     The night was gelid; frost gradually transforming into sheets of ice coated the windows of this small house we used to share. Our only source of heat was the skyward slithering serpent of crisp red, yellows, and oranges which faded into smoke; its eyes illuminating our dim surroundings. We kept each other warm as well, but this seemed a bit too cheesy to reveal. It was the truth, though.

     Silence was deafening and on this particular night, it was malevolent; the silence a complex cast of a shadow. The fire within the fire place was a warm yearning in the building inside my heart; my fingertips scorching with curiosity I had never known as they traced the outline of his jaw; my eyes slowly fluttering downwards as we just sat there on the verge of dreams and imagination. Soon after he had fallen asleep, my fingertips came to a halt from the soothing caresses upon his face as I, too, closed my eyes for the night; my mind screaming at me to douse the fire, but to no avail for the fatigue had begun feasting on my soul and mind due to the sleeping pills I had taken earlier.

     My actions bit me back when smoke filled my nostrils. Waking up in a jolt, I rubbed my stinging eyes; a dark grey thicket of vapor blurred my vision as well as burned my throat causing me to cover my face with the material of my sleeve. As I stumbled through the smoky room, frantically I twisted and turned in search of Luhan, but he was nowhere to be found. Surely he hadn't left without warning me, had he? He wasn't locked in somewhere amongst the strange rooms of this house, was he? 

     Time seemed to had pass all too soon for as I continued to stumble through the house that was slowly beginning to crash onto the ground in a fiery blaze, I was pulled out of the burning house by unknown hands---strange hands at that---but when I had turned to thank the stranger or maybe even perhaps Luhan, no one stood behind or before me. Only the deer I continue to see stood there, watching, but of course he couldn't have saved me for he's just a simple minded animal. As if it was an apparition performing a good deed or maybe even my guardian angel, whoever had saved me is still a mystery, but I will forever be in debt to them.

     My heart, however, had sunken into the crevices of my rib cage; the pain unbearable as my mind wandered to the whereabouts of Luhan. The firefighters who had arrived to the scene controlled the fire before searching for him, but two hours into the hunt for my dear love proved to be useless as they found no trace of him whatsoever leading me to believe he had abandoned me. A bit of hope sparked within me, though, as they began searching in a newly discovered room I had never been aware of. However, they were unable to gather information for the fire had spontaneously began again despite there being no found source for it; a supernatural fire is what they believed it to be.

     And that was the story of the tragic night where my love had either abandoned me by choice or not. Regardless I was left alone and as selfish as that sounds, I cannot help it for I am only human. 

     Taking a sip of my coffee, my eyes focus upon the deer who continued to stare at me through the window. I return the piercing gaze as well as notice the spot he stands motionless in: The spot I had stood that tragic night as I watched my house burn to ash. The deer and I both possess similarities, I suppose, in that sense---except I'm almost certain the deer wasn't medicated.

     That night the medication was chemical burn, and the fire immersed throughout my temple until I exhaled smoke, and took a glance at the shape of Hell I had created.