I Want the Headline

43

You felt hollow.

Something deep within you ached; a longing feeling tugging at your lungs each time you breathed. You weren't too sure where this feeling came from. There were so many possibilities. Yoongi was pulled from you again; your last glimpse of him was as he was dragged away from you. Your heart ached for him, missing the soft rasp of his voice when he spoke to you or the cool touch of his hands. Jimin was gone and your entire body ached at the thought of him. He should be alive; he should have lived. Jin, you couldn't even remember your last encounter with your brother and it made you sick to your stomach.

The tiny life that you had been trying to cultivate was gone too. Yoongi never knew, no one knew and you had no way to share your pain. They wouldn't understand; you were alone. So you just laid there, drenched in the greenish hue of the fluorescent hospital lights. Scratchy white sheets, pulled up over your shoulders, you could only stare at the empty guest chair beside your bed and blink. You felt like someone should be there. Yoongi should be there. Jin should have been there.

Maybe even Jimin. He would've have understood your pain perfectly. He always had.

Jeon had been there though.

He wasn't Yoongi or Jimin or Jin, but he was there; wide eyes flashing over your blank stare. His lips softly promising that he'd be there and he'd keep you safe. His hands gently massaged your arm. He wasn't them, but he was there and he tried and you weren't sure how to feel about that. Jungkook had hurt you so many times, and Jimin was so right about him. But when you needed someone he was always there. Even when he wasn't who you wanted, he was there, softly reminding you that he'd always protect you. Jungkook always found you when it seemed that everyone else had forgotten about you.

He never forgot you and he never stopped looking for you.

It seemed like your own brother had forgotten you countless times but he was dead now, you couldn't be angry with him. Jin had warned you about Jungkook, to the point of threatening his life. 'He's going to hurt you, stay away from him', he had told you. So for a moment, you hated Jeon only because Jin had.

Yoongi was sparse, and when you thought of him all you could think of was how gentle he had been in The Room. You couldn't be angry with him either. He had never really outright spoken about Jungkook, but there was always a pinch to his expression whenever Jeon was mentioned. And you noticed that you had started to adopt that expression as well when Jungkook's name was spoken.

Jimin. He was dead. You couldn't be angry with a dead man. He had wanted to hurt you only to hurt Jungkook. He had wormed and weaseled his emotions onto you until you felt them too. 'Jungkook will take and take and take away', he had promised you and he was right. Jungkook had taken so much, but he had given out even more. But just like Jin and Yoongi, you had followed right after Jimin and turned your hatred onto Jungkook.

It had brought tears to your eyes, thinking of how much these men hated Jungkook and how easily you adopted their opinions despite knowing a side to him that no one else knew. They were the ones who had left you behind and forgotten you, but you held them up like saints. They were never there, but they were perfect to you.

Jungkook was always there and yet he was the cruel one.

Jungkook never forgot you.

He protected you.

Always.

Jungkook had even cried in front of you, softly pleading for you to forgive him for his actions on the rooftop. He had had nightmares of it since then and was genuinely afraid that you hated him. Jungkook had even gone to far as to refrain from touching you the moment you showed some sort of discomfort. You had said you were afraid of him, but now he acted as if he was afraid of you.