half of my heart // hs ON HOLD

twelve

621 Days Before

"I forgot," Nick's lips curled into the musty thin air that nipped my skin and playing twister in my hair, "is it a left here, or a right?"

His glimmering car shown against the beaming red light as two cars whizzed past with their tops closed and their heaters on high, but Nick insisted on the feeling of fresh fall air. I pointed my finger to the left, almost feeling my little cozy apartment screaming my name, missing my sliced beat up skin.

"Left."

And then it was bizarre, absolutely insane as I watched, even felt the impact of his car spin as he took a right. I found it simply easy to cross my arms over my hammering chest and glare into the skin of the newly found boy that I was beginning to become fond of. The sky was cotton candy dripping against the sewn skin across my barely hiding chest, my eyes swimming into oceans of waves as Nick's laugh caressed the clouds and pushed them into Neverland.

"I just remembered, I have to make a quick appearance at a party."

"You just remembered?" I couldn't even help a smirk plaster onto my lips and I imagined Harry's lips twirling like a merry-go-round with watermelon gum mounted under his precious teeth, his bright pink kissable bleeding iced lips.

"Your wonderful jokes and beautiful face distracted me." His globe eyes steamed into me and my middle finger acquainting him in a nice pot of tea as his silver lining car slid under the moon along lava pavements- which reminded me of the woman hooked around his structured arm the day I met him weeks back.

What if he was cheating on her with me? What if they were married slash engaged? What if he has tons of girlfriends? What if this party is full of his girlfriends and I'm just another one of his 'girls'? What if-

"Fifteen minutes top, the drinks are on me." His lips were chilled like crushed ice and I almost felt the tingle run down my spine and curiosity began to nip at my thighs.

"And what if I refuse to attend this- this party?"

"That's what some people call kidnapping."

"And to think I was beginning to like you." I laughed into my lips.

"Well then just consider this an excuse to show you off to some old buddies of mine." And then I didn't feel anything, because this was how it was then and I don't think I wanted to be back there.

Be back at that place where I leaned against the felt of pool tables allowing my skin to be bruised with cool wooden tables as smoke surrounded my collar bones, my lips forming holes around stranded cigarettes.

So I nodded, the window becoming a place of adventure.

"Ten minutes?" Nick mumbled poems into the side of my face from feet away as his eyes left the rode for me.

"I thought you said fifteen?"

He looked at me like he knew every little secret that owned me, and I had never felt so vulnerable in my life.

"Thirteen minutes and thirty seconds, deal?" And his eyes found the rode again, leaving me with a much needed breath of relief that I don't know where it come from.

"Deal."

-

My forefingers held the hour glassed bottle with so much missing dignity that it almost hurt to watch Nick smile down at me.

"I'm used to beer." I admit with enough dignity to find myself having chest pains in the depths of the deep pacific with tidal waves mimicking chestnut curls as deep dimples curled into my sunlight spitting Harry only inches away, yet I couldn't find myself to lead myself to him.