Paranoid (A Harry Styles Fanfic)

Deadly Repetition

*Harry's POV*

I tapped my fingers lightly on the steering wheel to the beat of the music emitting from the radio. Humming to myself as I sped past apartment complex after apartment complex on the way to my own. I reached my destination and parked on the tiny drive way and turned the ignition off. Before stepping out into the cold, dreary weather of mid December I took a quick look in the rear-veiw mirror. Ruffling my hair slightly and straightening my tie I sighed silently to myself and realized this was as good as it was gonna get. I grabbed the bouquet of roses resting in the passenger seat and departed into the harsh winter cold. I made my way up the steps leading to apartment 3B where me and my girlfriend, Sawyer, had been living for the past couple months. Today was our two year anniversary and I had brought roses to surprise her, I smiled to my self as I reached my place of living. Just as I was about to reach in my pocket for my keys I noticed the door was slightly ajar. Sawyer had a 5 second attention span due to being highly ADHD so things were often being left open, and on more than one occasion, curling irons, flat irons, ovens etc. being left on. These kinds of things were normal in our household so I merely laughed as I made my way into the door.

But instead of greeting a smiling, loving, Sawyer. I greeted the dark. All the lights were off and it was eerily quiet. She gets off work an hour before me so I usually come home to her dancing and singing around the apartment, making dinner, or something of the sort. I turned on the light, and looked around the small living space. Everything seemed to be in order, and Sawyer's car keys and bag weren't on their usual place on the counter top. I shrugged slightly and proceeded in. I have to admit I was a little disappointed that on all of the days she had to choose to be late coming home it had to be on the day of our anniversary but I quickly shook the thought from my mind. Sawyer, although very forgetful about a lot of things, was not one to forget about important dates. Knowing her she was probably out buying some fancy gift, that we promised we would'nt get each other, or at the store buying things to make dinner.

I put the roses in a vase, set my stuff from work down, and went to go sit on the couch. I sank deep into the cushions and sighed as I loosened my tie and placed my feet on the coffee table. Although I was excited about the two year anniversary of me and my love, work had been exhausting lately. Maybe it was due to me getting zero sleep most nights. The nightmares had been coming back, and with a vengeance. I shook my head to snap myself back into reality. They might have been getting the best of me lately but today i forbid it.

I switched on the TV to a Friends marathon and began watching the characters argue about some unknown problem occurring. My eyelids started to feel heavy, and every blink i took felt longer than before. Sawyer would be home soon and she would wake me up and we would begin our anniversary festivities. So I nodded off to sleep in hopes that when I awoken my girlfriend would be there.

*****

There she was, my mother, face scrunched and eyes locked on the edge of the cliff. Hands gripping the wheel so tight her knuckles turn white. But even in her look of focus a tear streams down her face. Like she doesn't want to do it, like she's having second thoughts. I'm screaming at her, telling her no, telling her not to do it. But she cant hear me,and it was too late.

I jolted awake, my hands gripping the fabric of the couch. Sweat dripped down my tear stained face and my throat felt dry and scratchy like I'd been screaming. I looked around expecting that Sawyer would be home, that she was the one who had woke me up. But I only awoke to darkness. I grabbed my phone in a sudden rush of panic. Looking at the time I noticed it was eleven o' clock. I stood up and began pacing back and forth, slowly rubbing my neck. Had we made dinner reservations and i never showed up? Did we make plans for tonight? I suddenly coudn't remember. I picked up my phone and clicked the contact with a bunch of hearts and kissy faces next to it. All i heard on the other end was Sawyers voice mail. She would've been home by now if we hadn't made plans. I decided I would go looking for her, the most probable place she would be is her work considering that most people dont spend 4 hours in the grocery store.

I walked back into the frigid air that impossibly seemed to be decreasing in temperature. I was going to take my car and drive there but decided against it. Money was tight lately and she didn't work but a couple blocks down the street. Might as well not waste money on gas and walk. There was only one problem, I'd have to pass the dreaded place. The cliff where my mother had committed suicide all those years ago. We lived in a small town right on the edge of Chesapeake bay in Virginia. I'd lived there all my life and loved it as a child. It was beautiful and everyone who lived there was lovely. But at the age of 12 I began to hate it because it was a constant reminder of the death of my mother. I realize how stupid it was to live so close to the thing that haunted my nightmares but like i said money was tight and we couldn't afford to live anywhere else. But I swore that one day, we would leave this town and all the horrors that it contained. We would leave this place and never look back. Me and Sawyer together.

But that dream wouldn't come true if i didn't find her and apologize for whatever I had done wrong. So I wrapped my coat around me and braced the cold.

*******

As I neared the horrid location I heard police sirens and saw flashing lights of red, blue, and white. There was a huge group of people crowding near the cliffs edge. Policemen were pushing the curious strangers back. People everywhere had looks of horror or sorrow on their faces and when I saw this my mind flashed back to the nght they found my mother, everything was like it was now and I instantly became terrified. I rushed around asking anyone and everyone I could if they knew what happened, unfortunately, no one did.

I pushed my way through the crowd in hopes to make it to the front and find out from one of the police officers what had happened. I knew the chance that one of them would actually tell me what was going on was slim, but i had to try because right now i was reliving something i've spent all these years trying to forget.

I finally made my way to the front and called out to one of the police officers. " Sir, sir, can you please tell me what's happening?!"

The man gave me a glance then quickly looked back, eyes wide. He called for his partner and they both walked over to me with a sorry look on their faces. My heart started pounding as I gave into paranoia and stepped back slightly, almost tripping over someones feet. The first cop approached me slowly.

He cleared his throat and began to speak "Uh, are you Mr. Harry Styles?"

I nodded my head quickly, too terrified to speak.

"We um" he cleared his throat again "We have some...bad news, its your girlfriend. There's been a terrible accident"

My heart practically stopped.

Not her, this cant be happening. Not again.